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Have you ever been dating a guy where everything was going great? You’re having the time of your life, the chemistry between you is amazing and you often let your emotions get ahead of you and you start fantasizing that this guy might be “the one”.

But then, out of nowhere, things change.

The guy who used to call and text all the time suddenly withdraws and changes his behavior.

And as you wait for his calls and texts you start scratching your head trying to figure out what’s going on.

And you try to cut him some slack. Maybe he’s too busy. Maybe he just needs some space. Maybe he’s been burned by his ex and he needs some more time to open up and trust you.

And you wait….and wait. Hoping that one day he’ll come around and things will change. And you might even convince yourself that those crumbs he occasionally throws you are enough to build a relationship on.

But the longer you stay the more you look for evidence that your gut is wrong.

You ignore the fact that he doesn’t call when he says he will. You ignore the fact that when he actually does call, he comes up with an excuse as to why he was too busy (note***isn’t this the same guy who had no problem calling and texting you all the time when you first started going out?)

And sooner or later you come to realize that this guy is just like all of the other “boys” out there. He’s really not that into you. He only calls when it’s convenient or it’s in his best interest. He’s certainly not looking for a relationship. A fact, that is backed up by his actions.

So, why can’t he just man up and tell you the truth?

Sounds so simple doesn’t it? And in fact, if all men and women learned to tell the truth, the whole dating game would become much easier and much more enjoyable.

Unfortunately you cannot make another human being be honest with you. No matter how much you say you want the truth, a guy is going to tell you what he wants you to know. And he usually tells you things that are in his best interest.

But there are 3 things you can do to recognize a guy who is not interested in pursuing a relationship with you:

1)      Observe his actions – If a guy is interested in you, he will show you by his CONSISTENT actions. And this is where many women struggle. A guy will drop the ball consistently, but as long as he throws a woman a lil crumb, she’s going to take it and let him get away with his juvenile and immature behavior

2)      He Doesn’t Keep His Agreements – Look, life gets busy and things often come up. But a guy who is interested in pursuing a relationship with you will do what  he can to keep his agreements with you and when circumstances come up which make it impossible to do so, he will go out of his way to make it up to you.

3)      He Makes Excuses – a telltale sign that a guy isn’t interested in a relationship is when he makes excuses for why he’s not calling or spending time with you. I find it ironic that the guys who call and text all the time before the first date suddenly have busy and hectic lives after you first meet.

The truth is we live in a world where we can communicate to anyone at anytime if we wanted to. No matter how busy a man is he can find the time (if he wanted to) to give you a quick call, e-mail or text to let you know that he is thinking about you and wants you in his life.

The bottom-line ladies is,  if he can find the time to pee and take a dump, then he can find the time to reach out to you.

Several years ago there was a movie called. “He’s Just Not That Into you”. Well, the sad truth is if a guy is not making the time to call or see you, if he’s not keeping his agreements with you and he’s making excuses as to why he won’t make the time to be with you, then he is not the type of man who is deserving of you and your love.

The key to creating great results in your love life is being able to make better, smarter and healthier choices. If you’re interested in learning how understand the complex world of men, dating and relationships download free strategies and tips by visiting

Do you wish you could make the man in your life want to commit to you and only you? Check out Make Him Beg to Be Your Boyfriend for the step-by-step system women can use to make almost any man want to be in a serious relationship. 

Joe Amoia

Joe spent 14 years of his life searching for love. In 1999, after his engagement ended just 30 days before he was scheduled to walk down the aisle, he decided to take a break for some “mirror time”.

As a result of his self-imposed exile he soon realized that his struggles were due to the fact that he was never taught how to create a happy, healthy and fulfilling long term relationship. Within a few short weeks he developed a strategy which helped him find his wife and the type of love he had always wanted. He has been married to his wife Natalie for 12 years and they are the proud parents of 3 boys.

In 2009, after years of sharing his dating and relationship strategies with his clients, he decided to share his strategies with the world.

If you’re interested in learning how to successfully navigate the complex world of men, dating and relationships download free strategies and tips by visiting and download a free copy of his latest e-book, The ABC’s of Smarter Dating: 26 Tips & Strategies to Immediately Improve Your Love Life

What Do You Think?

8 Comments | Join the discussion

  • ashley Mar 23, 2015 at 7:23 pm

    yup just what I thought!! Now I know im not crazy… time to move on!!

  • lisa Feb 5, 2015 at 7:46 am

    In the beginning it was like he couldn’t keep his hands off me we had sex 3-4 time he would answer my calls or text he would even rush to come home now it’s like I’m at work busy d u don’t have time we went places together now he wants to go by himself he says he’s not ready for marriage because of his pass marriage he let’s his ex come to gatherings he say they are just friends nothing us going on they have kids n nothing is going on but he responds to there text and and just ignore mine I’m suppose to be his 5he only one he s with but he’s conversation with with male n females over fb but when he sees me on his inbox he he signs off then when we have sex he used to starts it n finishes but now it’s like I have to turn start it but he falls asleep his duck doesn’t stay hard I understand he’s 50 years old but it’s like he doesn’t want have sex he says it’s because of h u should age he’s tired he doesn’t show any affection he just wants me to do things to get him in the mood he does initiate unless he’s been drinking that’s the only time he wants to d I anything he works 24/7 always tired always drinking and smoking

  • Tanya Jan 3, 2015 at 2:29 pm

    Ok, so he tells me to text him. So I do. He responds we have 2 hours of conversation, even to the point of going to bed late when he has to get up at 5 am to go to work. That’s all good. The problem lies in the fact that he never initiates the first text. He always wants me to. What’s up with that?

  • JACKIE Jul 14, 2014 at 1:16 pm

    I was at a job for 9 months my boss who is married is very unhappy he wants to leave buts says its cheaper to stay then to leave there is a conection between us and I feel we both want to be with each other he wants to have sex but 6 weeks ago I leaft for another job he wants me back working for him and says when he has something full time he will let me know do you think he only want me there so we can fool around

  • Ha Dec 12, 2013 at 2:06 pm

    This is happening to my friend right now but his actions are different. Every time they hang out he would make out, hold hands and hug her at the same time. It confuses her a lot and she thought he’s interested so she asked him the question and he said to her that aged mattered because the 5 year gap difference where she’s older then him and it’ll be hard for a serious relationship, I don’t quite understand my friend looks 21 as she doesn’t look like her age or even act like it. But then I guess there was another problem this was the time before he told her he only wanted to be friends so she asked him to accompany her to a party and of course he replied he’d be her date but just only yesterday night that he bothered to call her on the phone and give her an excuse saying he needs time for himself so she attended the party alone the next day. It’s so confusing where he’s just playing with her heart or he just wants to be friends how can he commit then make excuses after what twit!

  • MommaSpice Sep 20, 2013 at 8:05 am

    This is pretty much what I’ve been thinking about someone I have seen a few times. We’ve known each other for about a year and when I was in town in April (we’re about 2000 miles from each other), we were able to get together and cemented what we both knew we felt for one another. I was able to make two trips back home over the past couple of months and our relationship was certainly full of passion, but then when I would contact him before leaving town, no response for weeks. I was promised more time together this last weekend, but excuses were made, messages not returned (via phone, texting, fb-ing) until he showed up at my hotel room. When we are together, I’m amazed out how we are together, and then nothing.

    Pretty difficult for me emotionally as I’m just getting back out there after having lost my husband to cancer years ago. This person is the first one that made me feel like I could possibly move forward and find another, but the hot and cold of this makes me want to crawl back into my shell and stay there. Don’t like feeling like I do.

    Anyways, appreciate your straightforwardness.

  • Cat Williford Sep 17, 2013 at 12:58 pm

    Once again, Joe, you hit the truth nail on the relationship head. If we have to mentally arm-wrestle about someone’s intentions based on wacky behavior, it is time to get “moving on” as a wise friend of mine says. Thank you for your honesty.

  • Cat Sep 17, 2013 at 3:58 am

    Thanks for this info. It just helped crystalize what I have been thinking in the back of my mind about a current relationship, but was too afraid to admit to myself. Time to move on!


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