By · @DinaMRobison  ·  · 231 Shares

Perhaps nothing derails women from deliberately attracting her soul mate more than “chemistry.”

I’ve had discussions and debates about this topic with girl friends, I get asked about it frequently, and my clients often bring it up during sessions.  Personally, when I was younger I learned the hard way that going by chemistry alone can get one invested completely in the wrong person – fast.

So how can you know if someone is the right person if you don’t have chemistry right away? 
And how can you know if someone is the right person if you DO have a lot of chemistry right away?

This may not seem like the most enticing idea but it worked for me and other couples I know – it’s best to hold off on getting too physical with someone until you know him better and he’s allowed his true colors to show.

This has nothing to do with what old world religions might call sin, personal ethics, or certainly not any “rules”; it has everything to do with you being able to see a person for who he really is (and for him to see who you really are) and not for the chemical bond being intimate will create prematurely.

Worried that taking your time will turn off a potential keeper?  Here’s the deal:

Your soul mate will wait as long as you want and will want to get to know you better first, too.

A player will be out the door – good riddance, buh-bye!

You will be able to keep your head about you and totally be yourself.  Ever notice how you change around a guy you’re crushing on once you’ve had intimacy?

There are no rules as to how long you should wait only that it’s in alignment with you and allows you to get to know each other.  So what is right for you and your desires for a soul mate partnership?

It’s helpful to go into dating with basic clarity and a plan.  Here are a few questions to help you get started:

What do YOU need to have in place before you get physical with someone?  What do you need to know about him and what do you want to have discussed before then?  Is it important for you to know that you’re a committed couple beforehand or not?  What “bases” (to use middle school terminology here) are you okay with him going past before you’re in a relationship?  And absolutely what do YOU need in place before you go all the way?

Though it doesn’t have to be written in stone but I find that setting the intention and having clarity around this is an extremely powerful statement to the Universe, and everyone else, that you are serious about attracting your soul mate and that you are worthy of attracting a partner that loves, cherishes, & respects you (and your boundaries) completely.

A soul mate relationship has a solid foundation and connection in the spirit, the mind, and the heart before it’s in the body.  And when you DO get physical, the attraction and chemistry you create with your soul partner continues to build and grow as your relationship does.

Dina Robison

Dina Robison is a Deliberate Love Coach, Certified Law of Attraction Coach, Certified Yoga and Meditation instructor.

Get two free audios “6 Ways to Begin Deliberately Attracting Your Soul Mate Now” & “5 Ways To Shift Into Love” at

What Do You Think?

3 Comments | Join the discussion

  • Duane May 20, 2015 at 7:04 am

    I’m dating a girl right now who connects with me on many different levels, but says she doesn’t “feel” like I’m a soul mate… we’ve only been dating a few weeks and really don’t know each other that well yet. She is a great girl, but seems to be hung up on a previous relationship. She sends me “signals” that she likes me and thinks I’m a great catch, but she keeps getting hung up on this issue. How can I allow her to make up her mind without sacrificing my heart in the process? Everything looks great on paper… and I’m patient enough to allow her the space to make up her mind about me. I just don’t want to let a great girl like her to get past me…..

  • JaxATG13 Jan 3, 2014 at 11:20 am

    Very good point! I made that mistake 1ce, & it just made the guy think “I was his possession”. & thats hard to shake! Now, I’ll only go there if I know him well. He’ll wait if he’s worth it!


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