Lengthy periods of time apart can break a relationship, and yet sometimes they’re necessary.
Maybe a job moves you out of state and your partner can’t get there until much later, after the house sells. Or perhaps one of you needs to be away for a class, or to take care of a dying extended family member. And of course, it happens all the time in the military.
Fortunately, there are plenty of things you can do to keep a long distance relationship alive, whether you’re apart for three weeks or three years.
“Dear Claire, my relationship with my boyfriend (of 2 months) was just getting off the ground well when he was moved out of state for a work assignment. He’s been gone for three weeks now, and I think he’s going to be there for another couple of months. We will be apart longer than we were together! I’m nervous that he might not still be interested when he gets back. Any advice for dating long distance?” – Catalina
I feel ya, Catalina. I’ve only been through two major long-distance relationships (one for about 3 months, and the other for almost 2 years) and both times I thought I would perish before we could be back together again on a daily basis.
The good news is that there are more ways to keep your long distance love alive now than ever before, Catalina!
Check out some of the ideas below and keep the love juju humming!
1. Make the tech work for you!
Text, email, Skype, chat, FaceTime, Google Hangout, social profiles – you have more choices than ever before to connect with your Sugarsugar. Use ’em! And be creative. What about a Skype movie date, where you both watch the same movie, and chat about it while you watch?
2. Send love letters and care packages
Remember how amazing it feels to actually get something in the MAIL? (Remember mail?) (No, the other kind. The good kind.) Whip together a steamy love letter and enclose it with some fun little gifts: a book of erotic poetry for her, or a pair of your line-up-the-back stockings and a sexytimes promise for him. Or you can go the good old-fashioned route and send home-baked goods.
Just do it!
3. Phone sex!
I’ll let you do your own search on this, but the basics are to talk about what you’re wearing (or not wearing), how you make each other feel, and what you’re doing to yourself right now. Or what you wish he/she would do to you right now. The delicious, shivery, sexy, good stuff.
Btw, one of the best parts of phone sex is that you can unleash your fantasies. Work through your favorite sexual fantasy role play over the telephone line and see how long he’s able to hold off before calling you again for moremoremore… =)
4. Schedule regular visits
You might not be able to be together on a regular basis, but you can and should make definitely plans to visit each other. While you’re together, hide some little love notes, secret messages, photos, playlists, small gifts and other treats for the other person to find later.
Some great hiding places: cereal box, stack of dishes, coat pocket, sun visor, lingerie drawer…
5. Pursue some common hobbies together; encourage and support each other
If you both always wanted to run a 10k, start training together, even in your separate locations. Keep each other updated on your progress, and even arrange your first race to be during one of your visits!
Here are some other ideas:
- Bike a century
- Take a class online together
- Play a game together – board games, MMORPGs, whatever works
- Learn to speak a foreign language
- Plan a vacation or trip
- Work on your land purchase together
- Build a website together or share a (private?) blog
- Watch a concert together
- Research each other’s family trees and share your results
6. GET SUPPORT from trusted friends, family, coaches, and mentors
One of your all-time best tools for making it through ANY relationship is the constellation of mentors, coaches, friends, and family members who have your best interest at heart and will listen, advise, feed, distract, and otherwise help you through the long stretches where you can’t be with your honey.
If you don’t have a network of support, get busy building one, pronto!
Leave ’em in the comments below!