By  ·  · Shares

Do you always feel insecure at the end of a date?

Do you always worry about what you did and said?

Did they like me? What could I have done better? Will they want to see me again?”

These are all questions that roll round your head, until the next time you speak to your date and find out the truth. And isn’t it true that even if they say great things about you, you’re still not convinced they like you.

They tell you “You’re gorgeous,” but you don’t believe them.

They say “I really like you,” but you think they’re just being nice.

Do you feel like people are always lying to you? Do you feel like you always question people’s motives? Are you always in some kind of self-destruct mindset?

Do you want to know why this keeps happening to you?

It’s because you’re an insecure dater!

What’s an insecure dater?

It’s someone who always blames the other person for the date not working out. It’s a person who assumes the other person saw fault in you. An insecure dater will always blame the other person for not making them feel comfortable or secure enough on the date, and that’s why it went wrong. Time after time, dates don’t work out for you. No matter who you go out with, it always seems to end up the same way.


Here’s the truth. The problem is YOU. You’re causing your own problems, not the person you’re going out with. You’re so wrapped up worrying about whether they like you, or whether you’re saying the right thing, you’re not present in the moment.

When I go on a date, I’m 100% in the moment. I want to get to know the person I’m with. I don’t worry about whether they like me, or whether I’m saying something stupid. I just concentrate on being myself and getting to know them.

Dating is about exploration. It’s two people exploring each other to figure out whether they want to see each other again. You need to start realizing, if you feel insecure after every date you need to work on yourself.

You need to love, admire, and appreciate yourself. If you don’t believe in yourself, if you don’t love yourself, and if you don’t believe you’re a catch then nobody else will. You’re an amazing person that deserves true love. That should be your mantra every single day.

I run into so many insecure daters and the problem is always the same. If you’re not getting second dates, it’s because of the signature you’re sending out about yourself. People pick up on those negative vibes and it puts them off.

You have to fall in love with yourself before anyone else can fall in love with you. It’s just the way life works. Take time to work on yourself before you start dating again. Figure out what you want from life, and try to understand what makes you feel so insecure. It’s so important to connect with and understand yourself.

Like the Michael Jackson song says, “I’m starting with the man in the mirror. I’m asking if he’ll make that change.”

You need to look at yourself. Work out why you don’t love yourself, and fix it. Once you have, I guarantee you’ll transform your dating life beyond all recognition!

Do you wonder what you do that scares men away? Visit to learn why your feminine insecurities are toxic to men and how to get over them.

David Wygant

David Wygant is an internationally renowned dating and relationship coach, author, and speaker. For over 15 years David has helped thousands of men and women around the world transform their lives and relationships. Extremely popular with the media, he’s been featured on channels like Fox, NBC, MTV, and the BBC, as well as writing feature pieces for Huffington Post, Yourtango, and Patti Stanger’s website. If it’s straight-talking, direct, and effective relationship advice you need, David Wygant’s your man.

What Do You Think?

1 Comment | Join the discussion

  • Rodrigo Nov 23, 2014 at 4:36 am

    This is the best I can give: don’t risk your heart on someone unsles there’s a big connection- fireworks, goosebumps, etc. You can get hurt in any relationship, even the ones without big sparks. The risk is only worth it on the ones that really have you feeling a strong connection.


Leave a Comment

Your name will appear above your comment. You may use a “pen name”.