There is nothing worse than wasting your nakedness on a flop of a lover. Am I right??? So, how can you to tell the good lover from the bad before you hit the sheets?
Well, first of all, if you are really in love, love will supersede lack of skills in the bedroom. As most ladies know already, sex is first and foremost between your ears. So, if you are really really into someone, your brain will convince you that you are having amazing sex.
Now, on to the rest of you. I am not saying that there aren’t exceptions to these “indicators” listed here, but they are a good basic rule of thumb.
1. Is your lover relaxed and easy to be with?
If they constantly seem stressed or uptight about everything, then there is no way they will let loose in bed.
2. Is your lover over weight?
This might sound strange, but I have found that if a person is too lazy to exercise, they will be too lazy to get crazy, if you know what I mean. And more than just that, it also has to do with how they feel about themselves. If you feel good about yourself, you will obviously be more open in bed.
You can tell so much about someone from the way the kiss or how affectionate they are outside of the bedroom. If they aren’t passionate and sensuous in the light of day, things will not heat up when the sun goes down.
4. Are they a controlling lover?
If someone is a control freak or likes to micro-manage every aspect of their life—trust me, they will also be trying to micromanage the sex.
5. Are they a selfish?
6. Are they a GENEROUS lover?
Over the years I’ve heard many women say that they want a “generous” man. And I’m sure that can mean many things to many people. However, when a person (man or woman) has a generous and giving spirit that will spill over to all areas of their life including the bedroom.
7. Does your lover seem to REALLY care about you and your needs?
Even if it is as small as opening a car door, a restaurant door or offering to cook for you, these are signs this person has an interest in your well-being. This will usually mean in the bedroom, as well. And if someone is “eager to please” they will make for a great lover.
8. Eye contact. Does your lover look into your eyes?
Not only is this SEXY, it’s also a sign of intimacy. And if someone is willing and able to connect with you using their eyes, it’s a very good sign they will be connecting with you in bed.
9. How present is your date?
Do they seem distracted or are they bad listeners, only interested in talking about themselves?
Or are they present in the moment with you?
Listening to you and really engaging with you. If they are a person who is really present with you no matter where you are, then when it comes to sex, you will also have a fully present and engaged lover.
As you mature, you learn that sex is a give and take experience. It is best shared between two people who are in it for the same reasons and both willing to be open and free and loving. I find this comes with experience and maturity. Immature people tend to not really care about their partners experience and are usually out for their own pleasure.
If you want to have really great sex, then take a little bit of time to get to know that person first or be very in tune to the signs I mentioned above. There are those people who go through life being completely unaware of their lack of sexual skills simply because either they never cared enough to really pay attention or ask their lovers what they wanted. Or their past lovers never asked for more and never told them the truth.
Life is too short not to be a good lover and have a partner who can give you what you want and need in return. So hopefully you will have a lover who wants to know what you want and then wants to give you what you want. The best lovers are the ones who truly enjoy giving their partners pleasure and can also genuinely enjoy receiving the pleasure that they are given as well. And it all starts outside of the bedroom first.