Today I’m going to tell you how to tell if a girl is a “gold digger” or if she’s actually truly crazily into you.
Brent asks . . .
“My ex-wife left me when the economy went sour – turns out she was in it for the money all along.
I’m only just now starting to recover financially from the downturn, not to mention the divorce. But now that my bank account is getting back to “normal” I find myself suspicious of every woman I go out with . . . thinking she might just want me for my money too. I’m sure that’s not always the case but I can’t seem to shake the mistrusting instinct. How can I move on and find a woman that loves me for me?”
1. Thanks to you I’m going to have Kanye West’s “Golddigger” stuck in my head all damned day. Thanks.
2. It’s too bad that you’re ex wife was that shallow, but at least you found out now before you had kids, pets, 5 mortgages and enough jewelry bedecking her body to fund 3 days of the space program.
So that’s an upside.
Anyway, let’s talk about women and money.
First I’m going to tell you what money MEANS to most women (and what it means to gold diggers you want to avoid) . . .
And then I’m going to tell you how to avoid the gold digger “trap” so you can actually meet nice, normal, awesome women who would love you even if you were a garbage man. (Actually, garbage men make pretty good money. Hmm.)
*What Money Means to Women*
I think I talked about this in a previous newsletter but anybody that tells you that money (and the security and status that comes with money) doesn’t matter to women are totally full of it.
Yes, yes, you’ll meet plenty of women who swear up and down that all they want is a good guy with strong arms and potent pheromones, but the studies and science don’t really bear that out.
Study after study has shown that women are legitimately more attracted to guys with “good jobs and good incomes” than they are to “poor guys.” And *some* women are actually “turned on” by wealth (which may be why Kanye got gold teeth before he landed a Kardashian.)
The good news is that the vast majority of women don’t care if you’re “rich,” they just care that you’re “not poor.”
They want a guy with a job, a guy who can handle at least half of the bills, a guy who they don’t feel like they have to mommy and a guy who seems to have his shit together.
If you’re dead broke, it’s going to be harder to meet “high quality” women unless you’ve got crazy charisma and Channing Tatum’s abs from “Magic Mike.” But back to your question . . .
The way to solve your “is every woman you meet a gold digger who just wants to bathe in your money pit like Scrooge McDuck” problem is to downplay the “moolah” aspect of your personality and your life and to not even let any woman you’re with know that you’re “a man of means” until she’s already decided she likes you for you.
So . . .
* If you’ve got a fancy car, leave it at home. * If you’ve got a fancy watch, don’t wear it. * Stop talking about how much money you make like it’s a reflection of how big you are down there. (Nothing is going to make it any bigger.) * Don’t date strippers.
And here’s the biggy – don’t date any woman who ALWAYS expects you to pay for dinner.
Yes, it’s great to grab the check sometimes,especially if you’re taking her out for a fancy date where she’s all dressed to the nines and there’s no room for a wallet in that tiny purse of hers anyway.
But you want to date a girl who’s willing to pay at least her share of the meal at least sometimes. Actually, when I was single and dating I would just pay attention to see if a woman I was out with would at least reach for her wallet when the check came (instead of doing that staring off into space thing where she expected me to pay for everything.)