How Do You Know If She’s A Gold Digger?


Today I’m going to tell you how to tell if a girl is a “gold digger” or if she’s actually truly crazily into you.

Brent asks . . .
“My ex-wife left me when the economy went sour – turns out she was in it for the money all along.
I’m only just now starting to recover financially from the downturn, not to mention the divorce. But now that my bank account is getting back to “normal” I find myself suspicious of every woman I go out with . . . thinking she might just want me for my money too. I’m sure that’s not always the case but I can’t seem to shake the mistrusting instinct. How can I move on and find a woman that loves me for me?”

Hey Brent…
Two things:
1. Thanks to you I’m going to have Kanye West’s “Golddigger” stuck in my head all damned day. Thanks.
2. It’s too bad that you’re ex wife was that shallow, but at least you found out now before you had kids, pets, 5 mortgages and enough jewelry bedecking her body to fund 3 days of the space program.
So that’s an upside.

Anyway, let’s talk about women and money.

First I’m going to tell you what money MEANS to most women (and what it means to gold diggers you want to avoid) . . .

And then I’m going to tell you how to avoid the gold digger “trap” so you can actually meet nice, normal, awesome women who would love you even if you were a garbage man. (Actually, garbage men make pretty good money. Hmm.)

*What Money Means to Women*
I think I talked about this in a previous newsletter but anybody that tells you that money (and the security and status that comes with money) doesn’t matter to women are totally full of it.
Yes, yes, you’ll meet plenty of women who swear up and down that all they want is a good guy with strong arms and potent pheromones, but the studies and science don’t really bear that out.
Study after study has shown that women are legitimately more attracted to guys with “good jobs and good incomes” than they are to “poor guys.” And *some* women are actually “turned on” by wealth (which may be why Kanye got gold teeth before he landed a Kardashian.)

The good news is that the vast majority of women don’t care if you’re “rich,” they just care that you’re “not poor.”
They want a guy with a job, a guy who can handle at least half of the bills, a guy who they don’t feel like they have to mommy and a guy who seems to have his shit together.
If you’re dead broke, it’s going to be harder to meet “high quality” women unless you’ve got crazy charisma and Channing Tatum’s abs from “Magic Mike.” 
But back to your question . . .

The way to solve your “is every woman you meet a gold digger who just wants to bathe in your money pit like Scrooge McDuck” problem is to downplay the “moolah” aspect of your personality and your life and to not even let any woman you’re with know that you’re “a man of means” until she’s already decided she likes you for you.

So . . .
* If you’ve got a fancy car, leave it at home.
* If you’ve got a fancy watch, don’t wear it.
* Stop talking about how much money you make like it’s a reflection of how big you are down there. (Nothing is going to make it any bigger.)
* Don’t date strippers.

And here’s the biggy – don’t date any woman who ALWAYS expects you to pay for dinner.
Yes, it’s great to grab the check sometimes,especially if you’re taking her out for a fancy date where she’s all dressed to the nines and there’s no room for a wallet in that tiny purse of hers anyway.

But you want to date a girl who’s willing to pay at least her share of the meal at least sometimes. Actually, when I was single and dating I would just pay attention to see if a woman I was out with would at least reach for her wallet when the check came (instead of doing that staring off into space thing where she expected me to pay for everything.)

Simple. Effective.

Michael Fiore

About Michael Fiore

Since early 2010, Michael’s been teaching men and women around the world how to use simple digital tools to dramatically improve their relationships.

He lives in Seattle, Washington with his (frankly incredible) fiance.

Breakups, Dating, MensBookmark

Responses

  1. Andrea says:

    Video Is she a Gold digger?

    I have had guys act insulted when I offered to pay for dinner. I don’t mind paying my half now and again. Of course, I have had the opposite when I ended up paying for him and me. Warning of some type like “I don’t get paid until next week. Lunch/dinner would have to be on you if we go out this week.” ;-)

  2. Phorcia says:

    Michael
    I thought this video was great I think there should be more like this.It’s point blank and well said. I got back out in the dating world not because I wanted to be there but I loss my soulmate Love of my life in 2010. We were Married along time it was very hard for me to think about starting over. I have try but have ran into some men that I could not trust so it’s not women that can be gold diggers there are men just as well.I just want to fine my true Love again to give all my love to for him to love me for me and me to love him for him. not for what I have or he has. yes it’s nice if they have a job. I am a Lady that believe in sharing the dinner bill or what ever he and I do together yes there are still Lady like us in this world few and far between and hard to fine. Thank You for your Time!!!

  3. Mary Sheeler says:

    If someone asks me out on a date I expect him to pay for it . That is the right way, unless they specify otherwise.

  4. Celdy says:

    You mentioned making more money than he can be emasculating? ‘Most men can’t handle that’ is sad news for me! How can you avoid this? I can take care of myself and make more money being retired than many men my age. It doesn’t matter to me how much he makes, just that he does and he’s not emasculated!!

  5. UT2k4 says:

    ..nicely put…but this is not a sure-fire way of detection. I’m not sure there is one. Just one thing; I had a woman who would offer to pay some/all costs for the meals above, treat me well (mostly) and appear loving and true. However, it transpires that she was in it for the long-haul. Little things would show over time; she’d get angry when I talked about sharing finances (we were to move in together in the future), I wanted a prenuptual agreement as I signed £30k away in my divorce and was weary…she got angry…..I explained I wanted to leave a legacy (if I could) to my kids….to which she replied ”why? They can look after themselves.” My penny eventually dropped, all through this I had a gut feeling..that I ignored or blamed on insecurity…but I had it. If you have it, and it doesn’t go away, then do everything you can to make it go away. Talk, reassure yourself, deal with facts, but if the feeling remains, well, you are the master of your own destiny. Remember that. …and good luck.

  6. clay says:

    I got lonely, was working all the time in my own successful company, did a 90 day fiancé marriage. found out at the end it was all about the money. she embezzeled $250,000 alone in two years out of my company as I let her keep the books. It bankrupted me, its been 6 years. Oh new husband is a multimillionaire, 22 years her senior. Ill never be the same, im just finishing aviation Maintenance school and starting my life over at 56. Thank god for my families support.

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