So today we’re talking about love! And in particular how to create REAL LOVE that lasts.
The kind of love that’s unconditional, and goes the distance in a long-term relationship.
Now I have to say that, having coached women and couples from around the world for over 12 years now, what I’ve discovered is that while most couples enter into relationship with the sincere desire to give and receive love, there are some critical mistakes they make that sabotage it.
So what I want to share with you today is THE biggest mistake people make that kills real love, so you can avoid that.
Plus, the ways we fool ourselves into thinking that we’re giving and receiving unconditional love, when we’re not!
This is important whether you’re single and want to attract a relationship with real and lasting love, or whether you’re already in a relationship and want to keep, or deepen the love.
Let’s face it. There’s nothing worse than being in that place where you feel like you’re giving your all, but you’re still not feeling the depth of love you really want.
It’s incredibly frustrating, it’s exhausting even…BUT it’s totally avoidable!
So let’s dive in…
Love has many definitions and textures. But essentially it’s a feeling.
In relationship, love is a feeling you get when you’re BEING an expression of who you really are, either through your words, your actions, or your sex and intimacy.
The trick is that often times we look outside of ourselves to ‘get’ love, rather than cultivating our ability to ALLOW the greatest flow of love THROUGH us.
The truth is this…
When we trick ourselves into thinking we need to DO something to GET love, we take ourselves down a very slippery path of sabotage and inevitable disappointment.
If you want to create real love, unconditional love that lasts, then you’ve got to start with you!
Now I know everyone says love yourself first, but it’s more than that.
The first step is to begin to notice all the ways you give to get love. The things you do or say to get someone’s love in return.
Have you ever had sex when you’re not quite ready…to get love?
Have you ever forsaken your boundaries, and done something you said you’d never do… to get love?
Have you ever given a gift to get love?
Have you ever not spoken your truth, to get love?
This work requires really honest, self exploration, and it’s not always comfortable. But when you recognize your own patterns of giving to get love…Then you’re on your way to creating real love that lasts.
And it’s incredibly empowering!
If you do, or say something to ‘get’ love from someone, where does the power lie?
With them right!?
If they don’t respond the way you want, then you’re left with the illusion that you’re loveless!
This creates dependence and a power imbalance because you mistakenly believe that the love you want is in someone else, and that you have to do something to ‘get’ it!
It’s crazy when you really think about it!
When you do that, you’re totally giving your power away, and setting yourself up for inevitable disappointment because we’re all human. You can’t predict how someone else will respond to you.
So get to know all the ways you give to get love. Not in a self judging way. Just be lovingly honest.
Then, let’s say you notice you do something, and secretly there’s a part of you that wants praise because that’s the form of love you’re craving…Then praise yourself! Praise yourself until you’re totally overflowing with praise-love!
Then you won’t need to ‘get’ it from anyone else. You won’t be needy for it.
It’s about embodying the love you are, in the ways you most seek to ‘get’ love from others.
When you do that, you’re on your way to creating a healthy, satisfying relationship with REAL love that lasts.
So what about you?
What’s your story around love and relationships?
I’d love to hear your comments, questions, and your story. So leave a comment below, and I promise to respond personally.
Meantime… keep on lovin’!