Is Your Ex-Girlfriend Engaged But Still Texting You?

Let’s dive into the questions:

Steven asks…
“I’m sure you get these alot. I went through your text your ex back system, and I’m confused about some of my ex’s texts. She got engaged, but she still brings up memories, and she sent me a text asking if I would date her again. I responded with a “maybe lol” because I thought it was a trap. I’ve been dating around over the past months and she knows it. Will you please tell me what she is trying to do?”

Hey Steven,
Here’s your answer in handy bulleted form:
1. She’s still got SOME kind of feelings for you. They may be relatively small and low (or they may be raging and crazy), but there’s SOMETHING there in the back of her brain.)

2. Like everybody, she’s having some doubts about the whole “marriage” thing. Is this REALLY the guy she wants to be with FOREVER? Is he “good enough” for her? Is she making some huge mistake by committing to this guy? Would she be better off with you?

3. She likes the attention and wants confirmation that she’s still attractive and still has some kind of “power” over you. Hey, women have egos just like guys do and there’s a thrill in knowing she COULD have you back even if she doesn’t necessarily want you back.

So what do you do? Well, it’s up to you. What you don’t want to do is come on too strong or act like some kind of lovestruck puppy dog.
So proper responses to her “Would you date me again?” question would be things like:
“I don’t date engaged girls.”
or
“You’re pretty great and all but I’m having a good time being single.”
or
“Are you hitting on me? =-)”
In other words, you keep it light while pushing her away playfully and making her do some of the work.

Of course, that brings us to our next question . . .
Mark asks…
“Hi Mike,
 A quick question. I’ve been meeting with the ex regularly, she is seeing someone else but I feel there is an opening for me. How do I force him out of the picture without looking like a bad guy?”

Hey Mark,
Why would pursuing a woman who you have real feelings for (and who you know you can have an incredibly relationship with) make you the “bad guy?”

It’s really all about how you frame it.
I mean, personally I “stole” my girlfriend from another guy. The night we met she was on the arm of another guy and three years later there we are spending our weekend mattress shopping.

The key is that you have to make sure you don’t think of YOURSELF as the bad guy. If she “loves” this other guy . . . if you can see from the spark in her eye that she’s 100% into him. If you can say to yourself that she’s legitimately better off with him than with you, then yeah, you’d be a “bad guy” to break them up.
But she’s hanging out with you, right? She’s flirting with you. She’s giving you hints and an opening.

So fight for her. Seduce her. That’s not being “bad,” that’s being a man.
Got it?

Michael Fiore

About Michael Fiore

Since early 2010, Michael’s been teaching men and women around the world how to use simple digital tools to dramatically improve their relationships.

He lives in Seattle, Washington with his (frankly incredible) fiance.

Breakups, Dating, MensBookmark

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