By · @janelledalex  ·  · 767 Shares

The majority of men and women will tell you that they want their love life and their sex life to be spontaneous. Is that true for you?

Perhaps, you will answer “yes”.  Yet, have you even considered what “spontaneous” really means?

Relationship Tips? Key to Spontaneity and Stronger RelationshipBeing spontaneous means being open to new possibilities and new ideas on the spur-of-the moment. When you are uninhibited, relaxed, and willing to improvise you create opportunities for spontaneity across the board in your romantic partnership.


But, how can you plan to be spontaneous? Doesn’t that seem counter-intuitive? 

Nope, not really. Special events and moments in your life are the ones you typically plan for.  They might be big events such as a wedding or a 40th birthday, and they may be smaller like a holiday or monthly date night.

Aha! Here is the Secret Key to your planned spontaneity – your date nights.

We get how flippin’ busy you are in your lives. Of course that means, planning date nights is vital. Yet, don’t just say you will go on a date night later this month sometime or that you will have a date night this Saturday. Without a more solidified plan you won’t be as relaxed and inhibitions will creep in. Then that old question of, “What do you want to do?” will get a response of, “Oh, I don’t know…what do you want to do?” There is no creativity in that and therefore, no spontaneity.

You are going to create a plan, and we are going to help you in just a few seconds. First, let’s explore how to create spontaneity in your planned dates.

Do you realize that a date night doesn’t have to mean going out of the house? You can plan a date night that includes a couple of hours of just cuddling in bed…or maybe this is a date morning.

Have a general idea of what your intent is then be open to the possibilities of what might happen. Tickling, cracking a joke out-of-context, making love in a way you never have before, sharing a childhood story never before shared, or playing a game with wagers of who has to do the dishes, who gets to choose your next vacation spot or who is going to be on top are all doors you can open to being spontaneous. The more creative you are the more new ideas and new experiences will automatically pop into existence.

Creating Your Plan for Spontaneity:

  1. Relationship: Creating and Planning Spontaneity in Your Romantic PartnershipJointly choose a date on the calendar and pencil in a date night. *If you absolutely must change it, be committed to rescheduling it in the same week!
  2. Decide on a general idea of what your intent for that date is. Will it be a movie night? A lovemaking date? A deep and wild talk about the Universe? A ghost hunt? A pamper your partner night? A Mission Date Night Adventure or Sexy Challenge night?
  3. Create opportunities for something different to come of it. A movie night – pick a movie that you normally wouldn’t watch or one that may lead to smooching and a very sexy night. A pamper your partner night – run a bath for your sweetie, massage his/her feet, do something your lover doesn’t expect from you. Make sure your date nights aren’t the same thing over and over – dinner at the same restaurant and whatever movie just released…no, no, no! Change things up. Make your date nights unique to the two of you.

Planning spontaneity in your romantic partnership isn’t hard to do. Use the 3 easy steps above and take your relationship and your date nights to a whole new level.

Your Mission – should you choose to accept it – is to plan your next 3 date nights, and leave room for playful creativity!  **Do this right now…procrastination is a passion assassin.  Ooooh…here’s another playful rhyme for you – Remember passion is always in fashion!

Rob & Janelle Alex

Drs. Rob & Janelle Alex, Ph.D, Experts in Sexual Energy + Long-lasting Committed Romantic Partnerships are Co-Founders of Mission Date Night.

Couples Coaching/Mentoring | Mission Date Night podcast on iTunes & online | MDN Adventures & Sexy Challenges |

What Do You Think?

1 Comment | Join the discussion

  • Leila Jul 31, 2015 at 11:52 pm

    I like the way this article breaks the whole idea of spontaneity into achievable steps. It’s not so hard to plan a date night or to think up a general plan – go out, stay in; watch something, eat something, fool around and then the creative bit of making something new of it. When you’re present I think that just kind of happens. I also like the idea of date afternoons.


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