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New relationships are wonderful with all those “feel good” hormones racing through your body. There is excitement and each moment together is new and fun! As the relationship matures, we learn more and more about our partners, and we become comfortable.

Relationship Tips to Ignite Intimacy and LoveEventually, even the best relationships can become staleIt is normal for couples to have times when they are more or less in love with each other. When you fall into a rut, you need to do something proactive to get the spark back into your relationship.

Let’s learn how to reignite the spark and rejuvenate your relationship in three easy steps.

Appreciate Each Other

It is so important to let your partner know how much they mean to you and how much you appreciate them. I know this sounds simple, but we forget to do it. It is easy to get into a habit of complaining, but how often do we let the other person know all they are doing that is right.

If you are focusing on all the things you do not like about your partner, you will notice them more often, and it will change the way you feel about them. You will become more frustrated, critical, and unhappy in the relationship. Instead, remember all the reasons you fell in love and chose this person in the first place. Now, share with your partner how grateful you are for all they do, how much you love them and appreciate them.

Spend Time Together

I am not talking about your ordinary date nights. Yes, date nights are a good idea, but they can get boring and contribute to the rut you are in. You go to the same restaurants and try not to talk about the kids. This is not adding the spark back to your relationship. I want you to try something different.

Take an active interest in each other’s lives. Spend some time really getting to know each other all over again and unlock newness in your relationship. Have more fun together. Don’t wait for special occasions; create them.

Remember when you were first dating? It is time to go back to dating them again. How about surprising your partner with a small romantic gesture. Recreate your first date, or share a new activity together. Remember to flirt and be playful. Life can be serious, but your relationship is your safe haven. It is a place you can put all the stress aside and just enjoy being together.

Reignite Passion

Intimacy and passion are not just for the beginning of relationships. It is even more important as the relationship progresses to make time for each other. You will feel more connected, bonded, and closer emotionally to your partner. The key is to create passion with intention. Couples who make passion a priority are more patient, appreciative, and forgiving with each other.

Both men and women need to be flirted with on a regular basis. It doesn’t take much time to whisper a sweet nothing in your partner’s ear or to send a flirty text during the day; be creative and have fun.

Now it is time to add more affection and physical touch to your routine. Start with an extra-long kiss in the morning, add hugs, hand holding, quick passing kisses, snuggling, or maybe a massage. Don’t wait to be in the mood for intimacy. Add it to your schedule and create the mood.

Ladies, it is time to take out that outfit you keep in the back drawer, the one you might have forgotten you had. The one that makes you feel sexy and makes him take notice. Gentlemen, help her get in the mood, run her a bath and maybe give her a massage after. Now enjoy where the evening takes you! The more passion and intimacy you add to your relationship, the more you will look forward to these times together.

There is nothing like the feeling of being in love and being loved. It does take effort to keep the spark alive, but the results are well worth it.

What ideas do you have? Please add them to the comments below.

Lori Ann Davis, MA, CRS

Lori is a Certified Relationship Specialist – Author- Radio Host

Lori has a unique and passionate approach to love and relationships and believes that everyone deserves and can have the relationship of their dreams.

She has over 28 years’ experience empowering individuals and couples to live richer, happier lives.  Her practice spans the spectrum from dating and singles to working through divorce to renewing long-term marriages.

She is the author of : Unmasking Secrets to Unstoppable Relationships: How to Find, Keep and Renew Love and Passion in Your Life.

She is the host of the Real Talk radio show on

To learn more about Lori’s services and products visit her website:

Follow her on twitter: @lorianndaviscrs Facebook:

What Do You Think?

20 Comments | Join the discussion

  • Susie Y. Sep 7, 2015 at 5:40 am

    Great article, Lori! You have a way of summing things up, that makes perfect sense. And I couldn’t agree with you more, when you suggest “appreciating” your partner more. That goes a long way! Thanks for the great advice.

  • Lina Sep 3, 2015 at 7:41 am

    Thanks for the advice Lori. But this doesn’t work in my case, no matter how hard I tried. I know my boyfriend loves me a lot, but now ee don’t have that excitement anymore. It’s just boring. I tried appreciating him, reminding him of old days, buying him surprise gifts, so and so. But still it’s as if he has suddenly become numb to emotions.

  • Michelle Sep 2, 2015 at 10:42 pm

    Great advice, thank you for posting!

  • Marty Sep 2, 2015 at 8:16 pm

    I’ve learned a lot in my life about keeping a relationship FRESH. And Lori is right about how very important that is. Now if I could just find a way to keep my vegetables fresh a little longer….

  • Adriana Sep 2, 2015 at 7:29 am

    Thank You Lori,
    It is a privilege to know You with Your wisdom !

  • Eric Sep 1, 2015 at 3:13 pm

    Great book! Thank you for helping me find inner strength and courage to let go of an old relationship that truly was not healthy. You have a refreshing way of clearly reframing and encouraging improved behavioral patterns into a new found resolve. Perhaps it is your experience and wisdom that has helped me to find greater happiness, joy (and health) within my own heart. Again, thank you…

  • Betsy Donnelly Sep 1, 2015 at 12:01 pm

    Three cheers for Lori Ann Davis. She really knows her stuff. I consider myself a “seasoned professional” when it comes to relationships, but many times need a kick in the pants. I put several of Lori’s techniques into practice and guess who’s the first to notice? That man I’ve been neglecting, that’s who. Thank you Lori for whispering into my ear just in the nick of time. I can now say we enjoy a renewed strong, happy, healthy, fulfilling relationship in all ways. Even after TWENTY years of togetherness. Please keep the advice coming, because I am sure to tune in!

  • Leeanne T. Sep 1, 2015 at 10:48 am

    You are so right on the money! Whatever we focus on we magnify. If we focus on the positives in someone our actions will follow. I love your practical steps to igniting the romance in our relationships. Who can subsist on Stale Bread! Thank you for some easy steps to appreciate, value and encourage a great relationships!!

  • richard Sep 1, 2015 at 10:30 am

    Thank you for this article. I need to get the spark back in my relationship!


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