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It happens to the best of us.

You’re on a first date. Things are going really well. Then, all of a sudden you say something — the absolute wrong thing. Maybe you knew it was the wrong thing the second that it left your mouth. Maybe it took 45 minutes of pained attempts at fixing it to really hammer the point home. Regardless, there are some things that you should just never talk about when you’re out on a first date.

Here are some of the things that you need to avoid like the plague.

“You Remind Me Of…”

It doesn’t matter what comes after this. When you go out on a date with a woman, she wants to feel special. She wants to feel like you’ve never met another woman in the world like her. Of course she reminds you of someone else. That doesn’t mean that you have to tell her of it. There is literally nothing good that comes after “you remind me of…” Your sister? Gross. Your ex? Thanks. Your best friend? Why aren’t you out on a date with her?

Something that’s only slightly more safe? Telling her that she looks like someone else. Just don’t do it, dude.

Anything Religious

Unless you guys met on ChristianMingle, never discuss religion. Even if you did meet on a religious dating website or even at a church function, avoiding religious talk is generally a good idea on the first date. You have the rest of the relationship to talk about whether or not you want to send your kids to Catholic school or not. On a first date, keep things light and that means avoiding discussion of religion.

It should go without saying that politics, at least for this purpose, is effectively the secular version of religion. Opposites will not attract here, especially not on a first date.

“I’m Not Racist, But…”

Generally a phrase to be avoided in any aspect of life… because whatever you’re about to say is probably racist.


It’s the first date. This means that you don’t have to regale her with a story about the time that you peed your pants on the third grade field trip or anything else that’s going to be sharing too much. Try and put yourself in her shoes and ask yourself if you would want to know what you’re about to share with her… and how you would react to it.

“I Don’t Read”

Really? Anything? Not a newspaper? Not the articles on Huffington Post? You’re reading Elite Daily right now. What about that? In the 21st Century, there’s no excuse for not reading, keeping up on world events and knowing things… even if those things are inside a relatively small bubble. When you say that you don’t read she’s already thinking about her next date with a dude who does.

What are your first date “dealbreakers?” Leave a comment to let us know.

Jordan Harbinger

Jordan Harbinger is a Wall Street lawyer turned Social Dynamics expert and coach.  He is the co-founder  of Art of Charm, a dating and relationships coaching company.  If you’re interested in The Art of Charm residential programs, apply for a strategy call with a coach.  You can also interact with Jordan on Facebook or Twitter.

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