All of us have heard that relationships are supposed to be hard work.
Hard work makes us think about physical labor, as if an individual should have to toil in the hot sun from 5 am until the sun goes down to make a relationship work.
Most of us have bought into this myth that mistakenly tells us that if we aren’t working constantly, that we are not in a good relationship. The truth is that a healthy relationship shouldn’t be hard work at all.
The hard work comes when two incompatible people try to make things work between them.
They usually have two very different sets of values, opposing problem solving styles, and a system of beliefs that are in conflict with each other. Their differences lend themselves to arguments, stress, and aggravation.
A compatible relationship partner allows you to be yourself every second of the day. You don’t have to fight to be heard or alter the way you speak or act to make them fall in love with you. Instead, you are fully embraced for who you are at this very moment and it doesn’t feel like work at all.
Just as swimming upstream can leave you exhausted and drained, when people use force to establish a relationship, it is hard work. But lying on your back and letting the water guide you downstream, takes very little work.
A great relationship is about finding someone who will join you in the journey downstream, instead of fighting to go in the opposite direction. Once you embrace this concept, the dating world will become way less difficult and daunting.