Episode 25

The Evil Green Eyed Monster

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From career envy to competing cousins, Mike and Nora answer your questions about the jealousy lurking inside us all…

Is jealousy ruining your relationship? Do you long to be that secure girlfriend who knows her boyfriend is hers and only hers? Go to digitalromanceradio.com/securehim and for the 3 steps to capture your man’s heart and make him love you forever.

What Do You Think?

10 Comments | Join the discussion

  • rizz Jun 16, 2013 at 2:27 am

    how do I knw MR Right

  • M May 21, 2013 at 9:52 pm

    I went on a date with a guy back in January. At the time, I lived an hour outside the city that he lives in. I really enjoyed going out with him and when walking me to the train he told me to let him know when I was in the city again so we could hang out. He is an amazing guy- extremely handsome, very kind-hearted, and has a very successful career. He never called me after this, so I took it to mean that he wasn’t really into me and I never contacted him when I was in the city again. Four months later I took a job in a state 1700 miles away (I will only be there a year). After changing this on my Facebook profile, he sent me a message. After chatting for a while, he asked me why we never hooked up. My reaction was, “Seriously? Is that what you’re used to?” And he replied, “Yeah, if I feel like we’re both into each other, clearly we’re not, so no worries” After thinking about this for a few days I replied, “I don’t want to sleep with someone I’ve only ever talked to for a couple hours, even if I am really into them. I figured if you liked me you would call me or something. But you didn’t. I’ll call you next time I’m back home and we can see what happens :)” He replied, “can’t wait 😉 so you’re really into me 🙂 i think you’re cute too” So my question is, is this guy just looking to hook up, or is there a chance of something more? Should I contact him when I go back to visit or just forget it?

  • sudhir May 21, 2013 at 7:14 pm

    Mihael presents some candid life situations and i like him there and this one may be not very common,but it can be breaking point?if extended to a point of no return one may loose a potential good life partner or at least a good friend ,which we will agree is a rare commodity in these times?Teasers can be avoided or done in small doses enjoyably so and not stretched.Possessive of a partner may be good sign of being in serious love ,i would say?

  • DancerLady May 21, 2013 at 9:35 am

    I lost my man to an old girlfriend due to emails that got more and more personal. I did not know this was going on so I got a complete terrible surprise. Perhaps since you know, there is nothing to worry about, BUT as he is not actually totally into you – maybe it’s time to move on.

  • LonelyLily May 21, 2013 at 9:23 am

    Dear Michael and Nora,

    I am 27 years old, and I have been dating a guy for almost a year, 10 months. It’s my second relationship. He’s great, sweet, kind, smart, (though at times too analytically) and super thoughtful. His friends and family love me. He treats me great and we have a lot in common, but…he has a lot baggage from past relationships and crazy exes. I guess you can call him a “wounded bear.” Due to this, and the fact that when we started dating I had just gotten out of a 2 year relationship/ 1 year engagement, and the breakup due to long distance, financial issues, and loss of communication crushed me.

    I waited 7 months to start dating again. I admit I probably wasn’t ready and was kind of pushed into to it by a family member who was harassing me over trying to mend things with my ex-fiancé (who wasn’t emotionally ready to commit anyway). So I thought, why not date others? And when I later learned of this new guy’s relationship history—he really wasn’t ready as well. He ended one relationship and immediately jumped into another one and another in the past 4 years—(I even found a timeline of sorts by accident). It’s safe to say we haven’t been connecting on an emotional level. Since we have been dating, he’s constantly mentioned how horrible all these women are, (I know way too much about them, three of which have been 10 to 6 years older than him. He even works with an ex in the same company) how he was never enough for them, how if he could go back—he would warn his younger self against beautiful women etc.

    So the things a normal lovey dovey boyfriend would typically do, he doesn’t do anymore. Hold hands, barely talks/texts me at times, flirts with me, doesn’t pick me up for dates, we don’t make out, sex is virtually nonexistent because he said he doesn’t have that drive anymore to start anything. This bothers me because I work out hard and don’t feel I am in bad shape for my boyfriend not to find me physically desirable. In the beginning I was the initiator of sex and that got old real fast. It’s starting to take a toll on my self-esteem, even though he says at times I am beautiful. He does compensate by buying me things and little gifts, but it isn’t the connection I want.

    So with that said, it makes it hard to let down my guard/be myself or bring up things that I am not happy with because I don’t want to be lumped into the crazy ex, high maintenance category that is never satisfied with anything. But I am smart enough to know, that part of his reasons are excuses. I know how it feels to have your hurt broken, badly and yet that didn’t make stop me being the caring, romantic person I am, though a bit more guarded.

    I recently brought up to him how unhappy I am, how I feel more like a roommate/friend than a girlfriend– how while I do care about him, love him—I am not in love with him (that spark isn’t there). If I am honest with myself, I still have deep feelings for my ex-fiancé. (which I did not tell him).

    His reaction was to tell me he loved me over text (for the first time). That he was willing to fight for me, that I am the most important woman to him, that I have been the sweetest, most attentive girlfriend he’s ever had. That I have blindsided him and that he wants a chance to try and foster a deeper connection with me. I agreed to try to see if we can, yet the feeling of disconnect is there and it bothers me a lot. I feel by this point, I should feel something more and it’s not there. I feel guilty because he is great and I should be madly in love with him, but I am not.

    I don’t want to hurt him like other women have done. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but I am not happy. Am I just fooling myself by continuing this relationship, hoping that emotional connection will find its way?

    Thank you for your time,
    Lonely Lily

  • NebraskaNite May 21, 2013 at 7:11 am

    You know that old saying “If you love it let it go & if it comes back its yours”!!!
    As relationships are based on trust if you can’t trust
    #1 your either not ready for a relationship or
    #2 If you can’t trust the one your with, probably not meant to be. you need to find someone whom you can.. I personally believe its healthy to talk to your male or female friends. It really depends on what you are wanting out of a relationship and seek that person whom is compatible and beleifs are basically the same as yours!!! It is basically an understanding before the relationship even gets started i think friends #1 first and foremost important.
    If you dont allow them to talk to their friends re life etc., then they will always have to feel guilty for talking to their women friends and feel they are cheating by your standards and than will lead to that eventually or at very least a relationship break down..
    open communication as their best friend… Is key to any relationship and trust #1..
    That is my take on relationships…

  • tammy May 21, 2013 at 5:45 am

    I wanted to asked. I have bern div for 11 years and I went on a dateing site for the last year. Im finding out that most of the men on this site want sex. Which I love abd get what happend about takeing the person out and getting to know them. Their profiles saud were are all the good women out their. Well they need to stop thinking about sex all the time and the would see that they just might have a good women rigjt in front of them. How do u get the men ti call u back if u end up sleeping with them because u were so hot for them and they were sexy. Thsnks so much Tammy

  • Pam May 21, 2013 at 5:00 am

    I think the most effective way to handle the “female friends” thing is to just let it be. Would you want him to tell you that you couldnt talk to your old “male friends” ? If you show him you are secure enough with yourself to allow other female friends in his life, he will think more of you, that you are confident and I think it shows a higher self esteem in you, not to mention that you trust him to know which side his bread is buttered on. The guys that betray that trust and have an affair with any of their female friends werent Mr Right anyway.

  • TexasJeanie May 21, 2013 at 4:40 am

    My problem is I start out feeling “secure” and ok with things – then the women “friends” thing surfaces. Seems like every guy today has lots of woment “friends” … they talk on the phone, e-mail, keep up with each other and share more than the guys do with the girlfriend, they have a “history” together, know the same friends, have much to “catch up on” and share their problems, lives, etc. The guy in my life usually has more intimacy going with his women “friends” online than with me. This wasn’t a problem 30 years ago – if a guy had a woman friend, she was usuallly at his work, or the local waitress…This is a beast it seems women can’t do anything about. First time you ask them to back off of it, they get horrified, offended and blame you for being possessive! What! I can’t even have friends????? What do you suggest?

  • Tariq May 21, 2013 at 12:48 am

    an excellent stage for romance


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