You know the scenario. You’re dating a guy and everything is going great. The chemistry is amazing. You’re actually beginning to think you’ve found “THE ONE”.
You’ve never felt more comfortable. He’s saying and doing all the right things. And then…BAM…out of the blue, he does a complete 180. He turns into someone completely different, or worse he disappears.
You try contacting him to find out what happened. Your heart aches to know. You deserve to know. After everything you’ve been through together you deserve an explanation. But all your efforts to find out what happened are in vain because you never get the answer you are looking for.
So, why does this continue to happen? Why do men repeat this pattern with so many women?
Well, before we start exploring the reasons let me assure you that in the majority of the cases it’s not your fault!!!. Unless you are a psychotic, controlling, insecure woman who is unleashing your wrath on the men you date, a guy’s disappearing act has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him.
In fact, the reasons most men pull a Houdini and suddenly disappear can usually be pinned down to one of three things:
I know this may be hard for you to wrap your arms around, but some guys lie and tell you what you want to hear. They will say and do all the right things and then in a flash they will show you that their actions no longer back up their words.
These guys know that if they were to tell you the truth from the beginning that you wouldn’t allow them to get away with their selfish, immature and insensitive behavior. So instead of showing you their true colors from the beginning they put up a facade until they get what they want.
Guys like this tend to disappear once they get what they want or the relationship is no longer working for them. They also pull a disappearing act when they they start realizing that a woman is on to their B.S. So before they get caught and exposed for the frauds that they are, these guys will simply check out and move on to their next victim.
Believe it or not, men get afraid too. In fact, fear is a human condition that runs rampant in every human being walking the planet. Some guys express their fear by running away (or pulling away). It’s not that these guys don’t want to be honest, they’re just don’t know how to. They’re too afraid that if they do, it will lead to a consequence or experience what they don’t want.
Sometimes guys are afraid of telling you the truth because they don’t want to hurt you. They don’t realize that by not being honest they are actually hurting you more. And sometimes the fear runs much deeper. For some men disappearing has to do with their fear of commitment and intimacy.
Unconscious fears can run deep into the psyche of some guys much like those stubborn weeds which permeate deep into the soil.
For some guys the disappearing act is often triggered by confusion. They simply do not know what they want. Dating a guy like this is often an emotional roller- coaster. You’re up one day and down the next.
In some instances confused guys simply need some space and time to get clear and figure things out. But for others because their confusion has more to do with unconscious fears which have come racing to the surface, the confusion can only be eradicated by the guy taking the time to do some deep soul searching or seeking professional help.
In all three of these cases the fact that a guy suddenly disappears is the only thing that matters. Yes, your bruised ego might feel a ‘lil better knowing the exact reason why a guy suddenly disappeared, but it still doesn’t change the fact that he took off and left you high and dry without taking the time to explain himself to you.
It is not uncommon for a woman to blame or question herself when a guy suddenly disappears. It is my intention to help you understand that as long as you are being your true self, you’re not doing anything to give a man a reason to leave. If he does, it falls solely on his shoulders and not yours!
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