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If you’ve been single and are ready for a new boyfriend, then you won’t want to make the mistake thousands of women have made already, by giving this away.

Don’t do it. Actually, this is something you can never give away. Ever. No excuses. This stuff is worth more than a lifetime supply of free cellphone service and an unlimited data plan. It is seriously enormous.

I know what you’re thinking. Sex. Because so many women give that away mind-blowing, tear-off the sheets kind-of sex before they are really ready and…

Sex is important to men and women, but that’s not what keeps men attracted and asking you out on date number two, three, four and at some point asking you to be his one and only.

There is something that is far more important about you to a man than toe-curling Yes! Yes! Yes! Sex. Are you ready to find out what it is that makes a man want you even will increase your chances of something more long term?

I know you are wondering… What is she talking about? What is it? What do guys really want from a woman?

Of course a man would want to get between the sheets with you (because you look good in those jeans girl!), but the thing that is most important to men, and it should be to you, is (drum roll please)… Incredible self-love.

Self-love and good esteem is the foundation of every good relationship, because a relationship can only be as healthy as the unhealthiest person. So if you don’t love yourself, do you know what will happen? You will bend over backwards and you will end up becoming a doormat, and this is not a pretty place to be.

If sex is the foundation of your relationship, and not your self-esteem, then guess what you’ll get?


It might be good sex, great sex, or even the best sex you’ve ever had, but if you’re ready to snuggle up with him for the eve, and he kicks you out of bed, then you’ll be left pining away for something more than just sex. (That is unless all you want is a friends with benefits, no strings attached kind of relationship. Then go for it if that is all you want).

If a friends with benefits IS what you want you want, you to have a mature discussion about your arrangement, and as long as you can handle the bonding hormones that might get stirred up and make you feel that loving feeling after you sleep with a man, then you could have lots of fun. But don’t do that thinking it will lead to something deeper and longer lasting.

If you want something more than a sex buddy, and you are pretend you’re don’t then you are in for trouble. If you are dream about your “friend” someday becoming your boyfriend or a hubby but that’s not what you discussed, it’s probably not going to happen.

If you are smiling on the outside, (but not on the inside), and saying “Sure. It’s cool if you come over and have sex with me at 2am after you’ve been out drinking all night,” you are not being honest with yourself and you are literally giving your self-esteem and your dreams of having a real loving partner down the drain.

If you put sex before your self-esteem, the guy will also lose respect for you… and guess what? That makes your self-esteem crumble even more. Then you are really putting your heart in emotional jeopardy and in this game there is no money to be made.

When this happens there will be avalanche of not-so-good thoughts. That’s when the gremlin comes out and starts to make you question your self worth and your lovability.

If you are not putting your self-esteem as a priority you will never get the love you want. So you need to buck up, stop being a doormat and give yourself   unconditional love because that is when you will be love yourself enough to say no to Mr. Wrong and yes to Mr. Right.

Dina Z Colada

Dina is the founder of EPIC Dating, Love and Relationships, and she helps people build great relationships with themselves and others. Sign up today for her newsletter and get the free eBook How to Stop Pushing Men Away & Get The EPIC Love You Want, and a free downloadable love attracting heart meditation. For more go here:

Dina is an online profile makeover expert and will help you attract the right kind of people with the right kind-of profile. She knows how to speak to men and women. When people see your new profile, they will feel it in their hearts and in their pants.

Her newest book How to Stop Being a Doormat and Get the Love You Want is now available on amazon kindle.

With the tools she offers her clients and thousands of fans from all around the globe, she has experienced what she teaches. Her passion is people, relationships, and reading lots of books about them.

What Do You Think?

11 Comments | Join the discussion

  • betha achieng Mar 28, 2014 at 9:38 pm

    I love the article am not willing to be a friend with benefit

  • Vicki Mar 28, 2014 at 2:58 pm

    My problem is a seemingly deceitful man. He says he loves me and wants to be with me, but all we ever really do is get together for sex. (He works multiple jobs and has limited time for anything else, he says, when I try to discuss my concerns.) He even wants to snuggle and sleep the entire night with me, but I can’t help but feel like it’s a FWB situation. I’m so confused, hurt, and scared that I keep breaking up with him. Should I just cut my losses and love myself enough to not go back to him when he messages me?

    • Dina Colada   Vicki Feb 7, 2015 at 10:22 am

      Vicki, please contact me if you are still having a hard time in your relationship situation.


  • Whitney Mar 28, 2014 at 6:42 am


    I made the guy I like wait awhile for sex….like probably a month and a week. But we did have sex recently and i feel like we are friends with benefits now. I know in the article it says that you probably wont get anything but im sure there is some way to get a relationship with. Can you give me a way to try at least to make him my boyfriend

    • Dina Colada   Whitney Feb 7, 2015 at 10:21 am


      I apologize I didn’t see your comment on here. If you still need help, please contact me personally through my site for a free consultation.

      Dina Colada

  • Massiel Mar 25, 2014 at 4:04 pm

    Hi Dina.
    This article is what I need to read. I was just planning to get again into an on and off friends with benefits kind of situation, where I really dont want to be,because I have strong feeling for this person. And I found it so difficult to say no to him when he want to see me..Thanks you, I feel stronger now, I think I can say NO finally..

  • Suzi Mar 24, 2014 at 8:39 am

    Who proof read this article? It’s terrible!!


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