Conflict gets a really bad rap. People mistakenly think that its only benefit in a romantic relationship is the make up sex that often follows.
However, in a close relationship, conflict is an opportunity for growth and a way of brainstorming different perspectives and approaches to problem solving. When approached correctly, we actually learn a lot about our partner during a conflict because basically we’re clashing over different perspectives – that arise from the same differences we fell in love with in the first place.
In this video, Anabel Newton, creator of the Happy Couple’s Blueprint, gives you a very powerful technique to approaching conflict.
Instead of continuing an argument when both parties are feeling frustrated, table the discussion for 30 minutes later (or longer if you need more time to cool down and be rational) and adopt the 3 Assumptions:
1. WE are on the same team
2. Neither one of us has any intention of trying to make life harder for the other for our own benefit
3. WE each love the other and care first and foremost for the good of OUR relationship.
By adopting the three assumptions, you will listen more effectively and with more respect to one another and you will brainstorm solutions more easily. You will also waste less time trying to convince one another that you are right – and they are wrong – which is a completely futile exercise!