Even if you don’t recognize those red flags at first, you can certainly feel them.
It’s that sinking feeling when your partner can’t stop talking about his “platonic friend,” or jabs you with another critical remark, or tells you he has to work late…again.
Love can be seriously blind. It can cloud your judgment. It can make you disregard those telltale signs. It can cause you to hang on to a relationship that’s just not right for you. Its time to take the blinders off and see those red, hot flashing lights.
Here are several red flags you just can’t ignore:
Your trust has gone MIA
His late nights are becoming more frequent, his lies are becoming more apparent, and he’s protecting his phone like a covert secret agent. If your partner’s constantly locking his computer, is skittish about his phone, or is being cagey as to where he’s been, don’t ignore this behavior.
If your trust has gone out the window, it’s probably time to toss him as well. Don’t just believe the good and ignore the bad. If you do, it’s going to get ugly. Find an honest, trustworthy guy instead.
You’re being shamelessly smothered
He’s a stage-5 clinger who encourages you to ditch your friends or texts you ten times a day asking, “Where r u?” Don’t allow anyone to isolate or suffocate you because once he’s got you where he wants you, he’ll fight to keep you there.
If you’re questioning whether he’s treating you right, chances are he’s not. Break away from Mr. Toxic before he poisons you further. Move on to a healthier relationship and a healthier you.
You’re the object of disrespect
He insults you, belittles you in public, or nitpicks about everything. He may have been doing it so much that it’s becoming the norm, or you don’t notice it, or even worse you’re starting to believe it. You’re not his verbal punching bag; you don’t need to take his jabs.
Anyone who puts you down is not worth your precious time. Everyone deserves love and respect. Choose someone who builds you up with compliments, not cuts you down with criticisms.
Your big deal breaker has been broken
Yep. You know them. They’re those non-negotiables such as: my partner must respect me, must support my career goals, or must want kids. Sometimes we develop “relationship amnesia” and conveniently forget (meaning lie to ourselves) what our deal breakers are and make excuses for our partner. Write them on your bathroom mirror if you have to, to remind yourself that you will not compromise your most important values.
If your partner’s breaking a major deal breaker, then maybe it’s time to make the break.
You’re doing the Bieber-Gomez flip-flop dance
It’s that endless cycle of breakup/make up/breakup. Maybe your partner woos you back with his best behavior only to treat you bad again. Or he begs for forgiveness after cheating on you and then does it again. Or he dumps you, but tries to win you back after he sees you with someone else.
This behavior will keep putting your heart through the meat grinder. It’s time to dance with a guy who knows what he wants…and that should be you, you, you.
Your future is stuck in the past…or just plain stuck
He’s still hung up on his ex. Or he’s terrified of commitment. Or he has no plans to move out of his mama’s house. Whether he’s still on the rebound or is suffering from commitment-phobia, chances are he’s always going to have one foot out the door in your relationship.
The sooner you break free, the sooner you open the door for someone even better to come along. So free yourself up for a committed relationship that has “fabulous future” written all over it.
Finally, if you plunge headfirst into a new relationship and those red flags start waving madly, pinch yourself really hard to remind yourself to walk away. The more you honor yourself, the better relationships you’ll attract into your life. Eventually, you’ll walk into that relationship which will give you all green flags.