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Michelle asks…
“How do I tell my husband that since we have no emotional or intimate connection, I am leaving.”

Hey Michelle,
Thanks for your short and simple question. In response, I’ve got a short and simple answer for you (though I don’t think you’re going to like it much.)

You do it the same way you told me: flat and simple and straightforward and not dressed up in anger or bitterness or rage at all.

Actually, Nora and I get this kind of question all the time. The “how do I tell my partner” question . . .

“How do I tell my wife what I really want in bed?”

”How do I tell my husband what I need from him?”

”How do I tell a girl how I feel about her?”

And again and again the answer is “You use your words.”

Yeah, I know, it’s scary. I dig it. We all get that petrified feeling in our chest wondering how somebody is going to react. Or we try to sugar coat things because we think that’s the “nice” thing to do.

But like I always say, often the cruelest thing you can do is try to be kind.

I’m willing to bet right now you and your husband are sleepwalking around each other, feeling miles between you even in the same bed, wondering what the hell went wrong and how somebody you see every day became a damned stranger.

And you’re not alone. Relationships are hard. Forever is a fallacy. And with jobs and kids and ridiculous expectations we have for relationships these days it’s way too easy for a tiny rift to get as wide and deep as the Grand Canyon.

So you pick a night, you clear an hour. You sit down. You look him in the eye. And as kindly as you can you say “I’m not happy. We don’t have any emotional or intimate connection anymore.”

What I’m not 100% sold on is the “I’m leaving” bit. If you guys have talked and talked and worked at it and if you’re 100% sure that it’s over and there’s no hope of fixing things, sure.

But nobody deserves to have the “I’m leaving” talk brought up without at least being given the option to make things work.

Michael Fiore

Internationally recognized as the foremost expert on how to have great relationships in the modern world, Michael is blunt, funny, and always honest.

In 2011, Michael appeared on “The Rachael Ray” show with his popular “Text The Romance Back Program” (Rachael said he gave her “chills”). Since then Michael has given women X-Ray vision into men’s minds with “The Secret Survey”, helped thousands rebuild relationships with “Text Your Ex Back”, and has become an Amazon Best Selling Author.

Michael lives in Seattle, WA and is currently hard at work on his next shocking, straightforward and really, really useful program.

What Do You Think?

2 Comments | Join the discussion

  • Aisha Oct 26, 2013 at 10:05 am

    Hi, my name is Aisha & i really want to tell my bf of 2yrs that i don’t love or want to be with him anymore, but he wont go away its like i would leave for days without no contact at all… i mean i would tell him and its like that made him love me even more or something… I’m just turned completely off now. I don’t know what to do please help me,i don’t want to be smart about it but DANG!!!!

  • Angie Jul 11, 2013 at 3:40 pm

    I am 56 yrs old and have been married to my second husband for 7 yrs , 1 of which we have been separated since dec 212 and dated 3 yrs prior to marriage. He chose to leave after I had a very hard “fall” mentally after my mother suddenly passed away jan 2, 2012. He has children from a prior marriage and I from my first marriage of 30 yrs, before dating and marrying him. All in all everyone got a long, but I believe now, in retrospect that my mom was the “buffer” for ome many situations. Everyone adored and respected my mom! Now since she is gone , many situations have started to unravel, but the most important to me is my love for my husband. He says he wants a divorce, but he hasn’t moved on it. I have taken time to sit with him , quietly, now , because I really had to work on me, but he continues to say he thinks he wants to just remain living at his daughters house, ( did I mention , he is 16 yrs older than me.. But it makes absolutely no difference to me!)
    I just don’t know how to get him to see I have changed and these could be the best years of our lives, since I too am now retired!

    I would truly appreciate your advice …. Before it s too late.
    Sincerely, Angie


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