You are just friends. Good friends. You both are happily married or together and in love with your mates. There isn’t anything happening or going on… at least not physically. But what about emotionally?
How do you know when your friendship is about to cross the line and become an emotional affair?
Here are 7 red flags that your opposite sex friendship is about to cross the line and become an emotional affair:
1. You Both Start Trashing and Badmouthing Your Mates
Complaining about your mate to your girlfriends or guy friends isn’t a good thing to do. But to complain and criticize your sweetie to your opposite sex friend (from now on OSF) you change the energy of the friendship. It’s like opening an intimate door and giving permission for them to come through.
2. You Share Secrets and Private, Personal Information About Your Mates
There are vulnerable secrets and closely held information that is shared between two people who are deeply involved and close that the world has no business knowing. Even after a divorce. It’s a sign of integrity to keep that trusted information to yourself. It’s not appropriate to share it. And, yes, I do get on my soapbox and start preachin’ about this one!
3. In Your Head, You Start Comparing Your Mate to Your Friend
You start playing the “If Only” game. “If Only” he looked me in the eye when he talks to me. “If Only” she wore more makeup like…” Energetically, “If Only” keeps you in a negative state of mind about your mate. And the more negatively you think about them, the more negatively you will think about them.
4. Your OSF Is the First Thing You Think About When You Wake Up
Are you spending more time thinking about your OSF than your sweetie? Are you daydreaming about him or her and fantasizing what it would be like to make love with them?
Ok, yes, I think with this one you have already crossed the line into an emotional affair.
5. You Share Good or Bad News With Them First
You share your good news, your bad news, your crazy day, your crazy ex stories, your worries, your hurts and your heartaches with your mate first. Period. It’s part of the commitment thread between you both. Sharing with them first keeps intimacy and trust alive and well in your relationship.
6. You Cancel Plans With Other People to Be With Your Friend
Are you making time with your OSF a priority over your mate, your friends and family? Have you justified it in a hundred ways? Are people starting to notice and ask what’s going on?
7. You Feel Like Your OSF “Gets” and Understands You in a Way That Your Mate Doesn’t
And that could be true on some level. But everybody will get you on some other and different level. Don’t glorify how your OSF gets you. The level that counts, the one to focus positively on, is with your honey. Be mindful of how you much open and share the part of “you” that is for sharing with your mate. There is a boundary here to pay attention to.
Any affair, emotional or physical hurts your marriage or committed relationship.
Cheating isn’t always about having a physical thing!
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