By · @SKotz  ·  · 1.4K Shares

Learning to “let go” is quite possibly the hardest thing we can do when it comes to our relationships.

Letting goLetting Go: The True Meaning of Letting Go… requires a universal trust that no matter what, the right thing for you will come to you and never miss you.

Letting go means, what you thought you always wanted could turn out to be not what you wanted at all.

Letting go is extremely scary because it can be perceived as a loss of control. However, holding onto something that is no longer serving you, or is before its time, is not really control at all. It’s a horrible, trapped way to live.

Holding on to a dead relationship is no way to live. It’s not living. You’re meant to feel love and be loved. You are meant to be worshipped. That doesn’t mean the person you are with is a bad person, but staying with someone out of comfort or because you’re afraid you won’t find someone again, stifles your ability to be open to accepting a truly soul changing love.

Letting go does not mean you don’t love the person. Letting go means that you trust that if this love is meant for you, it will return when it’s right. Sometimes we meet people before they’re truly ready. There is a lot of pain that can plague these types of relationships because the love is real and strong. Of course in a perfect world, you would be with them now and you don’t want to see them with someone else. I can tell you this, if this person is meant for you, dating someone else is not going to deter them from being with you in the future.

What if letting go meant that by allowing them time and space, they were able to transform and tap into their own self-love in order to return a stronger and better partner than ever before?

Letting go does not mean either of your feelings have changed. Letting go is the truest form of love. It’s a recognition and resolve that you want what’s best for yourself and that person. If that’s together, it will happen. If it doesn’t, someone truly meant for you will come in.

Letting go creates a space for you to trust your life and what is meant for you. It gives you permission to focus your attention back on yourself and what makes you happy. It helps to minimize the obsessing over trying to figure out what is going to happen next. Endless hours of social media stalking and trying to solve for the ambiguity you face, no longer seems to be as important because you trust, that it doesn’t matter.

Letting go takes courage and takes time. It doesn’t happen overnight. Be gentle with yourself. When we look back over the course of our dating lives and evaluate the times we let go, most of the time, there is this intuitive recognition and understanding of why things didn’t work out with that person.

Of course, for some, there is always that one person that got away. Just remember, they can’t get away if it’s truly meant for youHow brave are you to trust that.

Sarah Kotz

An author, coach and lover of love and life.  Sarah is on a journey to help support girls/women in their pursuit to find love and in the meantime obtaining access to true self-love and happiness.

To find out more about Sarah and obtain a free personal coaching package, click here.

What Do You Think?

9 Comments | Join the discussion

  • Boo boo Oct 1, 2016 at 10:07 am


  • C Sep 21, 2016 at 4:20 am

    my girlfriend left me again we have been on and off for 5 years, but for some reason it feels different this time…. more permenant….. what can i do to know for sure i do want to be with her but not sure the feeling is mutual anymore….any advice….?

    • Sarah Kotz   C Oct 8, 2016 at 3:58 pm

      HI C, my apologies for not getting back sooner. I do not get message updates on here for some reason.

      In my past experience there is a “release” feeling that happens when you’re truly ready to move on from a relationship. It does not mean you don’t have feelings for the person or that you don’t miss them at times, but it’s a feeling of peace/calmness. Does that make sense?

      I have been in on and off relationships before, as cliche as it sounds, time really does bring clarity to relationships like these. If it’s meant to come back around it will. Ultimately, you want someone who wants to be with you and in some cases it is because the timing is off.

      Let me know if you have any other questions, I am here if you need me.

      Take Care, Sarah

  • Cblake Sep 7, 2016 at 12:48 pm

    Loved this…to trust to let go. That’s what I’m doing. Facing obstacles alone and owning them. Thank you so much!!

    • Sarah Kotz   Cblake Sep 7, 2016 at 2:58 pm

      I am so glad it resonated with you Cblake, the trusting is the biggest piece, you got this!

  • Anne Sep 7, 2016 at 11:49 am

    Leaving an alcoholic abusive relationship has been hard after 22 years. The hurt is, I still care, and thought he would choose me and our son over the booze, drugs and friends that come with it. Not so and I feel stupid for trying to hold onto my family. It is only me that is hurting. Him and his enablers make me look like the bad one. This article brought a few things to light. Thank you

    • Sarah Kotz   Anne Sep 7, 2016 at 3:04 pm

      Hi Anne, never feel stupid for doing what felt right in the moment. It’s completely normal to still care and have hurt. What I have learned is there really are no “mistakes”, just lessons for all of us. Sounds like you’re on the right track to take a step back for a while and assess the situation from a distance. There really is something to be said about time and space that brings perspective to situations. Take care, Sarah

  • Mike G Aug 31, 2016 at 11:56 am

    What a perferct article! It nailed so many issues that I am facing in my “bad timing” relationship. She is damn near perfect, but after coming out of a long, terrible marriage, she is just not ready…and I am feeling trapped as mentioned in the article. Thank you so much for writing this…it validates what I need to do. Cheers to the author!

    • Sarah   Mike G Sep 1, 2016 at 3:26 pm

      I’m glad the article resonated with you Mike! Those “bad timing” relationships are so bitter sweet… It will come back around for sure, if it’s meant to. It’s interesting what a little time and space can do for people sometimes 🙂


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