When we deeply love and care for someone, we want the best for them. So much so, that when they are going through tough times, we would do anything to take away that pain.
The relationship no longer is about two individuals, it’s about one person, and that person is not you.
It’s critical that you know that it’s not your job to save anyone but yourself.
Your job is to be there to support your love, while still maintaining your own personal equilibrium.
Think of it this way…
How are you able to support anyone if you don’t feel filled up yourself?
It’s critical for the success of your relationship to be true to yourself and communicate your needs honestly and openly. You can still do this, while maintaining a supportive foundation with your love.
Personal journeys are just that, personal journeys. You cannot speed up or completely take-away anyone else’s pain.
No amount of “making it easier” for them or saving your own thoughts, feelings, needs or desires, will assist them to move along their journey any faster. In fact, stifling your soul’s desires robs the other person and yourself of truly developing an honest foundation.
One of the hardest parts about learning that you cannot save anyone but yourself is accepting that sometimes that person is just not capable of a reciprocal relationship at the time. It doesn’t mean they will never be, it just means that this may be a time where they need to focus on themselves in order to evolve through their personal journey.
Trusting that journey can be scary.
Just know that if this person is meant for you, no amount of hardship or distance will deter them from coming back around, if it’s meant for you. If they don’t choose to walk this path with you because their journey consumes them, there will be someone else who comes in for you.
Trusting the journey and the process can be terrifying. It can feel like you’re abandoning your love.
It’s not abandonment to pursue what is best for you. Trust what feels right for you in the moment.
But if you’re self-sacrificing and that partner is not showing up for you consistently, know that you are deserving of a partner who shows up for you. Your soul’s desires want to be met. It is your job to work as hard as possible to ensure those needs are met, regardless of what your love’s journey looks like.
Loving yourself first does not detract from all the love you feel for them. In fact, providing a supportive space for your love to orient their personal journey can help to foster immense growth for them and a potentially stronger future relationship.
Trust that your job is whatever sets your soul on fire, regardless of your love’s personal journey.