There is a secret French women know about attraction most women don’t.
I stumbled upon it while sitting at a cafe’ in Paris—watching French women.
A woman cycled home with a baguette safely tucked into her basket. Two stylishly-clad women sauntered down the boulevard—arms intertwined. Another strolled hand-in-hand with her lover.
They emanated an attraction that was beyond physical beauty. It drew me to them.
Each had a saucy smile on her face. It said, “I know something you don’t.”
I discover what ‘it’ was while living in Europe. It is something lost to most women that:
- Infuses you with a natural air of mystery and sensuality.
- Helps you build strong, healthy boundaries.
- Announces to the world that you are a high value woman.
- Stops you from over-sharing and spilling too much, too soon.
- Keeps you from being a predictable, boring woman.
And all without saying a single word.
It gives you an irresistible air of mystery and sensuality—without rules or tricks.
So what is this secret?
French women have a Le Jardin Secret (Secret Garden).
Spending time with French women reminded me that a woman’s mystery is part of what makes her so darned magnetic.
Yes, she enjoys spending time with her man, girlfriends and family. Yet she treasures taking time to do her own thing—in her own space.
Her secret garden is her private space—mental, emotional or physical—that only she knows about. A little taste of heaven that is separate from all of her relationships.
In a world that preaches transparency and engagement, we often feel guilty, selfish or sneaky about having a secret garden. Yet, it is our secret garden brings us back in touch with our deepest desires.
It is a space that allows us to design and cultivate a lifestyle of beauty, sensuality and intrigue.
How to Find Your Secret Garden
1. Go on an expedition
Select your perfect place. It could be a tucked-away coffee shop, a park, a museum, a lake or boutique hotel. Anywhere you like.
When I lived on the Amalfi Coast, my secret garden was a nook overlooking the Tyrrhenian Sea. I watched the sun rise. I read, meditated, exercised and journaled. I dreamed and got in touch with my desires. I got lost in the moment.
Your secret garden can also be an activity, like martial arts, painting or antiquing. The more time you spend cultivating it—the more energized, inspired and brimming with sensuality you will be.
2. Close the kimono
Found your place? Shhh! Don’t tell me. It’s called a ‘secret’ for a reason. Don’t tell anyone else either.
To this day, no one knows where I go. Not even my Beloved. My secret garden is a sanctuary strictly for me, myself and I.
And just in case you’re a skeptic (like moi) and thinking of blowing this off…
Do not underestimate the power of the secret garden.
One of my clients was raised to be a ‘good girl.’ And good girls have nothing to hide. You didn’t keep secrets. If you did, you were shamed and called secretive or stuck up.
This type of conditioning can wreak havoc in your relationships and love life. In fact, she had trouble establishing healthy boundaries.
She could hardly stop herself from sharing too much. Especially if she was speaking to a guy she found attractive. She got super nervous. He asked questions. Her mouth started going and going and going and going.
This ‘total transparency’ was ruining her love life. She wasn’t getting many second dates. Men’s interest never lasted more than six weeks.
She followed the steps I shared with you and cultivated her secret garden. She now possesses that subtle air of mystery.
Attraction no longer fizzles out.
High quality men love spending time with her. They value her and what she has to say even more.
You have everything you need to cultivate your secret garden. Enjoy the renewed sense of mystery and deeper attraction it brings.
And if someone asks where you’ve been—grin saucily and whisper, “Mon jardin secret.”