I believe that with most goals, including our relationship goals, we tend to experience an inner conflict about actually getting what we want.
There is often a big part in us that really wants that committed and passionate relationship, but there might also be another part in us that is quite scared of having it too.
I remember when I was looking to attract my ideal partner at the time, I had created my list of what I wanted in a guy and it all looked perfect in my head. In a way, it was tempting to just dream about my ideal fairy tale relationship.
Was I really committed to take the risk of possibly being disappointed by the real thing..?
I’m a big believer that in order to attract a quality guy, you need to be honest with yourself and get clear on what limiting beliefs or fears might be in the way. I’ll encourage you to explore the following questions to create the clarity you need, in order to invite a new relationship into your life.
Letting go of the fantasy
It’s perfectly fine to dream about your ideal relationship and I believe it’s an important piece of the puzzle. It is, however, important for you to realize that not everything will be perfect along the way. It can be useful to ask your married girlfriends about how they met their husband and how their experience when they first started dating.
It’s important to realize that even the most adjusted, interesting and intelligent guy will have his own quirks. Just like you, wanting to be loved and accepted for who you are, so will he. By letting go of the “fantasy” of your perfect relationship, you will be more likely to move through the early stages of dating with openness and ease.
Being part of a team
When I ask my clients what they miss most about not being in a committed relationship, many of them mention that they miss the companionship and not being part of a team. On the other hand, many of my clients are extremely busy and they love planning their week ahead and not having to check in with anyone. If you do enjoy having your space, you’ll ideally attract a guy who also likes doing his own thing and values independence too.
At the same time, with any great relationship, there will be times when you’ll need to compromise, especially once you choose to move in together. So my question to you is:
“How willing are you to be part of a team again?” If so, it’s time to do some dating, so enjoy!
Taking a risk
Being committed to finding a suitable partner takes courage and of course even the best men don’t come with a money back guarantee..
“Is it an easy journey?” Not at all.
“Do I think it’s worth it?” Absolutely.
One of my favorite quotes is by Helen Keller and it she says: