Are you truly independent? If not, you can end up in a compromising situation. Every woman should take these 5 simple—yet powerful actions to be truly independent. It doesn’t matter if you’re single, dating, in a long-term relationship or married.
I watched a BBC documentary where the host was given a tour of a billionaire’s palatial estate.
Pointing at a pair of hot pink stilettos on the floor, the host asked, “These aren’t your shoes or your handbags, are they?”
The billionaire smiled smugly and replied, “They wouldn’t fit. But their users are my property.”
I hate seeing men “buy” women to gain self-worth. And I hate seeing women “sell” themselves due to lack of it.
I’m not judging.
We’ve all allowed ourselves to be owned in some way.
It’s usually not as obvious as this. It’s not always about money. We can be owned emotionally and mentally as well.
Over the years, through trial and error, I’ve learned to do (and not do) dozens of things.
5 Ways To Take Back Your Ownership Financially & Emotionally
Let’s be clear, these aren’t a set of hard rules. These are MY guidelines.
Which means they may not work for every woman, but they certainly work well for me and ladies I’ve mentored.
One of my clients said, “So often I feel that I’ve compromised my position. Your 4 practical guidelines are what every mother should teach her daughter. I missed that lesson. I’ve come a long way quickly with your help Rhonda.”
So, read through them and use what resonates with you.
Pay Your Own Living Expenses
Buying a home? Renting a condo? Don’t depend on anyone else to foot the bill.
Thinking about moving in together? Don’t move in unless you know you can move out at ANY moment and support yourself comfortably.
See Your Friends Regularly and NEVER Isolate Yourself
Have you seen women disappear and forget their girlfriends the moment they have a new boyfriend? They only call when things are on the outs with him. Not cool!
Have an Account With Money of Your Own
Whether he contributes financially to your lifestyle or not, do not spend money like you’ll always have that support. Have investments and a financial plan. Be able to take care of yourself.
Buy Yourself Anything That Is a Big Investment
Homes, cars, clothing, jewelry and other tangibles are things I pay for myself. Things I will accept: entertainment, pampering and certain types of travel.
Note: This one is for women who are single, dating or in newer relationships. However, women who are married or have long-term partners may choose to accept such gifts.
Don’t Give in to Manipulation or Guilt Trips
I used to allow a family member control me by using guilt-trips and manipulation. The first thing I did was tell myself the only approval I needed was my own. Next, I told myself if someone truly loves you, they will graciously accept your NO. If they cannot, their love is conditional—and not true.
You don’t need it. Period.
These guidelines aren’t meant to be cold or build a wall around your heart. I’m not saying never accept support when you truly need it.
They are meant to help you maintain a healthy level of independence.
This is REALLY GOOD for all your relationships. It makes them stronger and healthier.
Don’t beat yourself up if you aren’t quite there yet. Just take action today.
And if none of these situations resonate with you, here’s a question to ask yourself today,
Where have I allowed myself to be owned by a man, friends or family members?
Once you identify it, take one step toward taking full ownership.
With love and in service,
Rhonda “Own Yourself Fully” Cort
Founder The High Value Woman
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