By · @cristabeck  ·

Many women show up on the first date looking for their future husband with the intention to figure out if he is marriage material. But sorry ladies, you will never figure that out on a first date.

Attraction Killer During First Date: Here are Tips to Easily Handle First DateYou definitely don’t want to grill him to see if he is the guy who can provide for and raise your future children! This is an attraction killer and you are going to scare this potentially great guy away.

What you can figure out on a first date is to notice whether he is genuinely interested in you and you are interested in him. Now there’s a place to start on the first date!

Having clarity for yourself that you are ready for a committed relationship is great, but a man will lose interest in pursuing you if he catches on to your agenda to find a husband. There is no need to make this mistake on the first date.

Of course it makes sense to communicate that you are interested in a relationship with a man on the first few dates if things are going well.

But if a man senses any rush from you to get into a relationship, you are killing your chances.

You are not going to figure out whether he is going to be a great husband on the first date. Instead of grilling him, how about you have fun and be interested in who he is as a person.

You need to allow yourself some time and space to really get to know someone. Choosing the right partner can potentially take years to discover, so no need to figure that all out in one night over dinner.

Definitely don’t bombard your date with questions. It makes him feel like he is on a stressful interview. And who enjoys interviews? Not me. And definitely not the guy you are on a date with, so stop the grilling.

All you need to notice on the the first date is to see if he is showing interest in you.

Is he asking questions?

Is he listening?

Is he sharing himself with you?

But he also needs to feel that you are interested in him.

Are you listening?

Are you curious about him and his life?

Is your body language open and receptive to connection?

Or are you talking all about yourself or putting your attention on other people or things?

Another big turn off for guys is your constant checking of the phone. When you are on a date, it’s time to put your phone on silent and in your purse. If you need to talk on the phone or text, due to an emergency, excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. Other than emergencies, keep the phone away. This shows lack of interest on a first date.

The whole point of the the first date is to have fun and see if you are interested in one another, that’s it. There is no need to pretend you are a lawyer and interrogate your date. This is a big attraction killer.

So go out and have fun. See if you are interested in him. See if he is interested in you. There should be no pressure to know if a man would be a good husband or not. Just have fun!

Crista Beck

Dating expert and speaker Crista Beck is best known for teaching people how open their hearts to love and attract the partner they truly want.

To learn more about Crista go to

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