Mick Jagger, at 73, was recently in the news for fathering a child with a woman who is 29. For those of you wanting to do the math, that’s a 44 year age gap. Although I’m sure there are many reasons she would be with a much older man (money and fame likely help), this situation isn’t unique: many women prefer older men.
Although the above gap will be too extreme for most women, many embrace smaller, but still significant age gaps (5-15 years) because they enjoy the benefits of dating older men.
This article isn’t meant to put down anyone’s preferences. Nor is it meant to imply anything “bad” about younger men. Also, before it gets brought up, some older men are simply train wrecks and unattractive. And, they often come with “baggage” such as divorce and children.
But, depending on what you’re looking for, an older man could be right for you. This is especially true if you feel that most of the guys you date are directionless and immature.
Here are a few benefits of dating older men:
Their Life Experience Makes Them Attractive
When I look back at my younger self, I cringe at some of the things I said and did, especially when going out on dates. I lacked self-confidence and often failed miserably to connect with the women I went out with. My lack of attraction was ultimately rooted in a lack of self-confidence and experience.
Through intentional self-improvement, I began to feel comfortable with myself and gained incredible confidence in the process. While I definitely pushed myself towards excellence, a lot of my changes came simply from “growing up.”
Many guys are simply late bloomers. In their teens and twenties, they are awkward and insecure boys. However, as they grow up and gain experience in life, work, and relationships, they turn into attractive, confident, powerful men. This often happens in the early to mid-30s, but can be even later.
Also, if you think these late bloomers can’t be physically attractive, think again. With the right lifestyle, men can be physically attractive even into their 40s and 50s and beyond.
They Know How to Treat Women
I remember my most awkward dating experience. I was in college and invited a girl I liked to the movies. I wanted to hold her hand, but lacked the courage to do it. She could obviously tell that I was anxious about it and finally blurted out: “If you want to hold my hand, just do it!”
I grabbed her hand, but the next day she told me I wasn’t really her type and we should just remain friends. Yep, I blew it.
But, guess what? I learned from that and many other relationship blunders in my teens and twenties. And, I decided not to make those mistakes again. So, while my 20s were one dating mistake after another, by the time I reached my 30s I had developed a good understanding of what women want in a relationship.
This is true of many older men. They’ve had many relationship failures, but, they’ve likely already had them, rather than experiencing them with you. They have a better idea of how to treat you and you’ll definitely benefit from it.
This also applies to sexual abilities. Older men have gotten those blunders out of their system too and have had more practice pleasing women. While everyone has to learn somewhere, with older guys, you’re not going to be his guinea pig where he figures out what women enjoy in bed.
They Are More Generally Mature
Scientifically speaking, male brains mature later than female brains. It’s no shock that younger guys are more immature than females of the same age. Many women intuitively pick up on this, even if they don’t consciously acknowledge it.
At speaking events, I hear a lot of younger women lament the sheer number of “boys” in the dating pool, who are more interested in playing video games and screwing around than pursuing excellence (and a stable relationship).
An older guy who has his life together, can carry on a conversation, and dresses sharply is a welcome contrast to a “boy” whose life is a mess, can’t put a sentence together, and dresses like he hasn’t looked in a mirror in weeks.
They Have Financial Stability
A good friend of mine went on two Tinder dates recently. On the first date, the guy “forgot his wallet” and she had to cover the meal. On the second one, the guy admitted that his mom gave him cash for the date, since he didn’t work. She laughed it off, but increased the age range on her Tinder searches.
Dating should never be about money grubbing or gold digging. But, economic stability is attractive. And, for good reason. A guy who doesn’t work, has little potential for a good job, or who struggles due to bad credit decisions brings a lot of baggage to any relationship, especially when the woman is successful at work and level-headed with money.
Although being older is no guarantee of economic success or financial stability, the odds of it are greater simply due to the way the job market works. Usually, as people gain experience in work, they also gain raises and promotions. So, older guys likely have more money and resources for this reason.
You should never date anyone based solely on money. Nonetheless, a person’s financial stability (or lack of it) is fair game. After all, no woman wants to commit to a guy who promises them a paycheck to paycheck existence because he’d prefer to play video games and live with his parents.
They Know Who They Really Are
The teen years and 20s are a great time to discover who you really are. That involves a lot of experimentation, changes, and discovery. It’s a good thing ultimately since most people emerge much stronger and confident from it (see my first point).
Older men are usually more sure of their core personality and values and more likely to act based on those traits. Sure, those traits can be bad. But, they also could be very attractive. And, if you find an older guy attractive, there are good chances that’s his core personality, not just a phase.
To summarize, older men typically offer experience (in life, dating, sexual ability), maturity, and stability (finances, personality). These are generally attractive traits, but especially for women who crave them in a relationship.
If this is you, I recommend you keep an open mind to dating older men. You might find that they are a great relationship option for you, even if you never considered it in the past.
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