How to tell if you’re his Romantic MVP (& why men think dating is just like Baseball).
As a love coach, the most common mistake that I see most single women make is prematurely taking themselves off of the market because “someone likes them,” otherwise known as “The one at a time Man Plan”
This misstep can happen during any phase of dating, and is a genetic holdover from the millions of years that women spent picking berries on the tundra. It makes you want to quickly give up the hunt and become “instantaneously monogamous” to a viable suitor once he’s been found.
WARNING: The problem is that men like to date women the other way around!
Man fact: Men, (even the ones you think are really nice guys, like architects) believe that it’s not only normal, but preferable, to have several sexual options (like YOU) waiting for them in the wings.
Men don’t think that this approach is wrong as long as they haven’t stepped up and made a verbal commitment to any, some, or all of these women. On the contrary, most men subscribe to the Male String Theory of Dating.
And here’s how it works…
The Male String Theory of Dating
Boys were learning much more than teamwork in Little League. They also learned the value of ‘rotating the talent’. When little boys grow up and become men, they’ll apply this principle to their love lives too. It’s ingenious when you understand how it works…
A single male has his starting lineup of MVPs, then his Second String Girls, who like him just a little more than he likes them, and finally his Romantic Replacements, who are kept in a holding pattern on the bench.
His MVPs are usually the women he thinks he’ll have mind- blowing sex with. The rest are put into romantic rotation.
Men don’t feel one shred of guilt about it because, after all, they’re not married, so they don’t have to act like they are. Maybe they have a point!
The Male String Theory of Dating hinges upon the “If you’re dumb enough not to ask me, I’m not gonna be stupid enough to tell you” policy.
Sidebar: It’s amazing that more women don’t ask the men they’re dating if they’re currently sexually involved with other women, or how many! If they did, they’d be shocked by the answer.
Romantic rule: It’s not prying or rude to ask the men you’re sleeping with about the competition you’re up against, to find out the real odds of contracting STDs—or actual commitments—from them.
The only way you’ll find the right man is if you feel confident rejecting the wrongmen fearlessly. When you’re clear about your needs and know how to communicate and commit to them, you’ll quickly assess the real value of the men who court you, and free yourself from the ones who need to be dropped from your flock. And I am going to show you how…
If you’re one of the MILLIONS of women who are confused about where you stand with your man, or are alone on Saturday night wondering where he is, here’s a way to tell where you are on his priority list…
The MVP checklist:
- He calls or texts to ‘check in’ with you every day.
- You spend consistent time together, in a pattern that becomes predictable.
- He returns your calls and texts promptly.
- He accounts for his time with you, letting you know where he is, and what he’s doing.
- He invites you into his ‘inner circle’ of friends, family. and work colleagues. He’s proud to show you off, and include you in important events, holiday’s and activities.
- He makes future plans with you, and initiates those conversations.
- He uses the word WE, WHEN and I love you, with regularity.
- You are monogamous and he’s verbally committed to that fact.
- You feel secure in your relationship, and aren’t obsessing or spending time wondering what’s happening between you. You know, because he’s LET you know through his words and actions.
If your suitor hasn’t checked the boxes on the above list then remember this, Miss…
Romantic rule: Unless men take themselves COMPLETELY out of the field for you, don’t take yourself out of the game for them!
Quickly Get Flocked with other suitors and see who steps up, Buttercup!