Question: Need romantic second date suggestions. Dating a different kind of girl – more of a brain, and don’t want to look like an idiot taking her someplace stupid.
Answer: I love that you’re switching things up and getting to know a different kind of girl.:-) I think a big mistake people make dating is being in conclusion of who would be the ideal complement as a lover… So I think it’s sensational that you’re letting go of preconceived notions.
And yet isn’t it curious what it’s bringing up for you? You’re concerned about looking like an idiot, yes? That’s another way of saying fear is running the show rather than your noble badass self. And by noble badass, I don’t mean perfect whatsoever. I mean somebody who is confident and humble, someone who is proud of their accomplishments yet vulnerable with areas where they are still growing, able to receive a compliment yet not justify their worthiness in anyway. Basically being present, authentic and real.
What I love about your question is that you are no different than any other man or woman dating. Ultimately, we’re all afraid of rejection, yes? Ultimately, we all want to receive appreciation and approval and do it “right.” Yet what I find is, after coaching people for almost 2 decades, is that any time we take an action to try to find our safety or security or approval or appreciation from someone on the outside, we always give away some degree of authenticity, creativity or power.
However, when we give ourselves that very same unconditional non-judgmental approval first… something inside us rests and we can access to our greatest intelligence, creativity and power… And it feels fun, free and confident to be ourselves, with lessening care about making mistakes because we’re no longer attached to external results, we are internally at peace. Plus this approach makes us appear even more sexy, too!
So when you get into that calm place on the inside, what would delight YOU to provide her? What would be fun for you? What would bring you pleasure to provide her? What is it about you that’s attractive to her? Maybe there something that’s right under your nose that she appreciates, rather than you having to be somebody more brainy than you already are?
If I had to think of a brainy date, personally I love this documentary called The Connected Universe about the quantum physicist Nassim Haramein. That’s how I get off 🙂 xox That’s because I’m into the quantum mechanics that give my clients exponential results in my coaching healing sessions. If you know what kind of brain she is, you might discover a great art exhibit about her favorite Art Period… or the documentary Samsara that is both brutal and beautiful about the state of our world.
Yet I caution you, only try these if it’s something that you would enjoy experiencing too. Not that things always have to be 50/50, they don’t. And not that it’s wrong to try something you know is mainly for the other person… which is great so long as you reciprocate (she goes fishing, he sees a chick flick). Yet if this new woman is truly going to work, there will be overlaps of things you enjoy doing together with ease AND the joy getting to know new worlds that the other invites.
Bottom line, I wouldn’t overthink this, and I would drop into that calm place where you are authentic and choose something that would delight you to provide for her.
And if she doesn’t like the authentic you, it’s OK. You can bless and release her and thank her for the pleasure of getting to know one another 🙂 And find an even more ideal match.
Staying calm in the face of rejection is way easier said than done so you will most certainly benefit from my upcoming complimentary workshop about Making THAT Soul Connection! Register now at www.AllanaPratt.com/soul-shaking.
And you will also enjoy my complementary training found at my site www.gethertosayyes.com called How to be a Noble Badass. The internal always creates the external so I think the training will support you in creating a string of amazing dates with her 🙂 thank you for reaching out!
Great love, deliciously, Allana oxox