Dating is tricky, there’s no doubt about it. The “rules” are changing, and it’s hard to know what to do and whether or not a new relationship is going to last. There’s a lot of advice floating around, but how do you know what really works?
As a former speed dating host and dating coach, I’ve talked to a lot of women about their dating challenges. I’ve also seen a lot of good and bad choices that men and women make. With this in mind, there are a few timeless truths I’ve learned along the way.
If you want to have a better dating experience, or if your goal is to find a lasting relationship, there are a few pieces of advice to keep in mind that can help in concrete ways.
Following Are 5 Essential Dating Tips for Women:
Be Adventurous When You Date
Don’t keep meeting dates for drinks or coffee. Mix it up, so you can spend your time doing something that excites you instead of conducting endless job interviews! Give it some thought. What activities interest you? What new place have you wanted to check out? Make a list of things you want to try yourself, whether it’s a bike trail, a photography class, or strolling through a new art gallery. Then ask your potential dates if they’d be interested in joining. No matter how you click with your dates, you’ll accomplish something you really want to do.
Don’t Focus on Timeframes
Just because you’ve reached a certain age doesn’t mean your social life is over and you must commit to someone. When you settle, you’re setting yourself up for future complications. Marriages and long-term relationships, especially when children are involved, can be trying. If you don’t really love the person you’re with, then it will be harder to make things work. (With kids, this can be very messy and complicated.) So stop worrying about timeframes and focus on the type of relationship you want to cultivate.
Learn From Your Past
How many times have we dated someone who reminds us of an ex? Sure, it’s easy to be attracted to the same types, but more often, we gravitate to those same problems we had in our last relationship. Do some soul-searching before your next date. Understand your part in previous relationships that went wrong. What are some of the challenges you’ve faced with your partners, and what would you do differently next time? What do you really want from a relationship? Answering these questions will help you understand the part you play in each of your relationships, and help you make different choices.
Cultivate Your Independence
Let’s face it ladies. When we get excited about a new guy, we jump right in! Sometimes we cancel plans with friends or sideline them for a bit, because we want to fully invest ourselves in the new relationship. We neglect hobbies or creative pursuits to make ourselves available. Instead of jumping right into your romance, take a deep breath. Focus on yourself, on your life that you have created. Bask in the happiness you’ve found for yourself, without a partner. Make your own life fulfilling before asking someone else to do it for you.
Trust Your Gut
This is most important. Don’t ignore the nagging feeling in your gut when you’re with your boyfriend – pay attention. If he seems too good to be true, he probably is. Check for red flags, and ask questions. Don’t be afraid to state what you want – you deserve it!
And if being with him feels right? Take a risk and see where the relationship goes. Love never happened without both people taking a chance.
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