Some people would say that dating has become confusing and too much of a challenge nowadays, while others might say it isn’t that big of a deal since it’s only a matter of timing to meet the right person.
Sure, I know plenty of people who have lucked out and met that man or woman that has changed their lives for the better but I also know of many more who haven’t been so lucky – myself included. The reality is that figuring out who’s the blame for why things are much harder isn’t that simple because the notion of dating has been dying off for a number of reasons, and here are a few:
We should hang out some time.
I can come through.
Let’s kick it.
We can watch some Netflix and chill.
These are some of the most common ways many of us are being asked out and unless I’m missing something, I don’t think it’s that difficult to fix your mouth and tell a woman (or a guy) you would like to take them on a date. Nothing hard about that at all but this is just one of the issues we’re faced with nowadays – the idea of courting has disappeared.
Now I have to give a disclaimer here to say that everyone isn’t looking for a steady relationship or marriage, so who are looking for the kick it buddy or casual whatever? These types of offers are just fine and will normally lead to a cup of coffee, a few drinks and maybe a snack followed by some fondling and likely sex at the end.
So what does it mean to date?
It depends on if you’re asking a man or a woman, the age range and if you’re dealing with someone who subscribes to the “new age” versus someone who may be a little old school, but either way, the definition of dating can vary greatly. It could mean a series of outings leading to something more, it could be liking someone enough to see them regularly, exclusive or non-exclusive so figuring out if it means the same to two people is an entirely different problem.
Conversations Became Text Messages
Used to call and speak to one another but now… first thing after exchanging numbers whether in person or having met online is not a conversation. It’s going to be a “send me a photo” or “WYD” or some other message that really should be saved for an actual telephone call.
Why is it that so many people are doing nothing but texting as opposed to having an actual conversation? I find it hard to believe that in a 24-hour day, it would be that difficult to set aside time for a 5-10 minute conversation; especially for someone you just met.
The sad reality is that most aren’t even interested in talking anymore while the others couldn’t carry on a conversation if their life depended on it because we’re so used to the Internet instead.
Don’t get me wrong – texting is okay, but it should be reserved for the simple stuff. You want to know what my schedule looks like for the weekend? Need directions for my house? Want to know if I’m dressing up or going casual? These are the types of things a text message is good for, in addition to the quick “have a good day” types of messages, but if you want to know how my day went or want to make plans for a date? Save those for actual conversations.
Before the Internet and popular outlets such as Facebook and Instagram, we were forced to meet new people the old-fashioned way – in person. Make eye contact, flash a smile then approach the person hoping you aren’t rejected but with the Internet? The possibilities of meeting someone are endless.
Nowadays, you can meet someone just by logging onto Facebook and viewing the “people you might know” or commenting on a post or liking a photo and taking it from there. And of course we can’t forget about the plethora of online dating sites, so when it comes to meeting someone new it’s definitely a lot easier than it used to be.
When you consider nearly 87 percent of American adults now use the Internet and over 57% spending their time on the various social media sites, it’s no wonder a lot of us feel as if we have too many choices to put forth much effort anymore.
We Stopped Caring
If I were to summarize all of the reasons I’ve mentioned above, I could say we just stopped caring.
In the old days (before text, email, Facebook, Twitter etc…), we actually put forth more effort in getting to know someone by having conversations (which have been left in the dust along with hopscotch and Now ‘n Laters), actually knew what dating consisted of and made plans (now it’s more like something to do), and meeting someone new can be done with the touch of a button but more so, we just don’t care.
Unfortunately, I’ve been out on dates with quite a few men who showed me how they didn’t give two shits about making a first impression by showing up disheveled, dirty, smelly or late. Why would anyone think that showing up looking a hot mess would be my idea of a great first impression? They commit all of these offense because they think it is okay or don’t care.
After looking at a couple of reasons why the concept of dating is slowly dying seems a little bleak, but it doesn’t have to be so fellow singles – we don’t have to let these woes ruin our chances.
We deserve more than any of this and shouldn’t be selling ourselves short, and I believe the more we start telling the guy trying to plan a romantic date via text message or asking the woman who showed up to the date with sandals and dirty feet that it is not okay, we can make a change.
Is there a special guy you have set your sights on, but you don’t know how to get him? Do you wish you knew what to do to make him yours? Claire Casey’s Capture His Heart is exactly what you need. For a step-by-step guide to wrapping that man around your finger… CLICK HERE!