Perhaps nothing derails women from deliberately attracting her soul mate more than “chemistry.”
I’ve had discussions and debates about this topic with girl friends, I get asked about it frequently, and my clients often bring it up during sessions. Personally, when I was younger I learned the hard way that going by chemistry alone can get one invested completely in the wrong person – fast.
So how can you know if someone is the right person if you don’t have chemistry right away?
And how can you know if someone is the right person if you DO have a lot of chemistry right away?
This may not seem like the most enticing idea but it worked for me and other couples I know – it’s best to hold off on getting too physical with someone until you know him better and he’s allowed his true colors to show.
This has nothing to do with what old world religions might call sin, personal ethics, or certainly not any “rules”; it has everything to do with you being able to see a person for who he really is (and for him to see who you really are) and not for the chemical bond being intimate will create prematurely.
Worried that taking your time will turn off a potential keeper? Here’s the deal:
Your soul mate will wait as long as you want and will want to get to know you better first, too.
A player will be out the door – good riddance, buh-bye!
You will be able to keep your head about you and totally be yourself. Ever notice how you change around a guy you’re crushing on once you’ve had intimacy?
There are no rules as to how long you should wait only that it’s in alignment with you and allows you to get to know each other. So what is right for you and your desires for a soul mate partnership?
It’s helpful to go into dating with basic clarity and a plan. Here are a few questions to help you get started:
What do YOU need to have in place before you get physical with someone? What do you need to know about him and what do you want to have discussed before then? Is it important for you to know that you’re a committed couple beforehand or not? What “bases” (to use middle school terminology here) are you okay with him going past before you’re in a relationship? And absolutely what do YOU need in place before you go all the way?
Though it doesn’t have to be written in stone but I find that setting the intention and having clarity around this is an extremely powerful statement to the Universe, and everyone else, that you are serious about attracting your soul mate and that you are worthy of attracting a partner that loves, cherishes, & respects you (and your boundaries) completely.
A soul mate relationship has a solid foundation and connection in the spirit, the mind, and the heart before it’s in the body. And when you DO get physical, the attraction and chemistry you create with your soul partner continues to build and grow as your relationship does.