You’ve realized that your partner is not the one, not only because he’s toxic but he could be dangerous.
There is only a desperate future ahead of you, only more of the same with this person and your looking at the evidence of abuse in your past.
You realize that you‘ve been giving yourself to someone who cannot give you the love, affirmation and healthy emotional life you need or deserve.
You see your future as giving up all of your hope, and nothing will ever get better or change. The future feels defeated, like you are settling and giving up. Just breathing through your days and surviving.
What do you do?
You don’t have to settle, you don’t have to give up. You can pull yourself out.
Here Are 2 ways to Get Out of an Abusive Relationship, and You Can Get Out!
Just determine you’ve had enough, and you won’t put up with any more emotional abuse! Begin to see you’re importance and that you deserve to be happy, there is so much good in life and you are going to get it!
You are important, you have something to say, you have great value and more strength than you could ever imagine just look what you have been through!
So, what are the best ways to make the changes you need?
1. Make a Plan
If you are being physically abused in any way, you need to make a plan to leave right away.
Here are some suggestions.
- Contact your closest support, family or friends that you can trust, get the emotional support that you need.
- Talk to a lawyer and find out what your rights are, lawyers usually will give you a free consultation.
- Contact your local police and get a restraining order. Do not confront your abuser alone.
- Then go to the nearest women’s shelter, find out what they have to offer and what your choices are. Shelters can relocate you and your children; you can have a new start. It may not be easy, but you can do it!
2. Put Yourself First!
Once you are aware and taking action to stop the emotional abuse in your life, you can begin to think clearly and also begin to understand what the whirlwind that has taken over your life is. You are surprised at what has happened and it’s time to see reality and take responsibility for your own life.
You need to see that no one has the right to control you, your thoughts or dreams. You are an individual, you are valuable just the way you are, you are worthy of love.
- See your partner for who they are. See their actions for what they are. You have to be more afraid of being with this person and giving up your life and dreams to them, than being afraid to step out into life, possibly alone.
- Be aware of what this all means to your future and how the relationship doesn’t work for you and if you have children, it is affecting them in a terribly negative way. If you can’t get out for yourself, get out for them.
- Do some research on the kinds of people who control others; there are many videos on YouTube about abusive relationships of all kinds. If you don’t have internet, use the library. Use this resource. Don’t make a move until you have a solid plan.
- Depending on the abuser, you may need to find a way to get yourself out, if they are unreasonable, and unable to hear your needs, you may have to employ the plan in step one to get out. You will get a better idea of what the best way to leave the type of abuser you have encountered.
- It is much easier to get away from someone you have had a short relationship with than someone you have been married to for 20 years. Be wise and be smart. Do not put yourself in danger.
- Be sure you reconnect with your support group, whether that is , old friends, or family. Tell them what you’ve been through, if you have been estranged for some time, find a supportive church and engage.
Depending on the measure of abuse, you may want to contact a professional counselor or a coach.
You can do this! After all that you have been through, understand that your future is wide open.
You just don’t want to repeat this relationship, you need to remember that: REAL LOVE ALWAYS FEELS GOOD.
You never have to stay in an abusive relationship. Only you are in control of you’re life!
The National Domestic Violence Hotline offers resources for abusive relationships. Call their toll-free number: 800-799-7233800-799-7233Â FREE.
Please come back for my last article in this series. 1 Way to Thrive After An Abusive Relationship.
In my previous count down articles 5 – 2, I brought to you my first–hand experience, and what to look for if you think you may be in an emotionally abusive relationship. I also wrote to you about what causes us to be susceptible to an Emotional Abuser.
The response to this series is amazing, and my heart goes out to each of you, who like me have been wounded in abusive relationships.
Read each of my articles to learn more on how to handle bad relationship situations. Also, I’m offering a free 30 minute Skype session or two days of unlimited email coaching for free. You can check my bio below and visit my website. Let’s connect and schedule a time for us to talk.
Love- Coach Penny