Everything was going just fine when suddenly you are no longer “friends” on your social platforms… What just happened, and what should you do?
“Dear Claire, recently my boyfriend blocked me from his social media because according him, I was acting jealous. But the only thing I was doing was commenting on his pictures here and there. I did notice some other girls commenting too so maybe I came across as jealous. We have been together almost 7 months and aside from that, we get along well. But I can’t stop feeling rejected by him blocking me. How can I talk to him about this to see if he might decide to add me again?” — Alejandra
Here are the three main reasons he may have had for blocking you on Facebook and/or other social platforms, and exactly how you can think about what you want to do for each…
1. The two of you are in different places in the relationship. (You’re more invested than he is)
He may be trying to figure out how involved with you he wants to be.
Because he’s uncertain, as you get closer, he’s backing up, blocking you out.
You can test this by releasing the pressure on him. Back up. Treat the FB block as a non-issue for a while. Move on with your own beautiful life plans, and see what happens.
He may start to notice that you’re paying more attention to your own life than to his, and come knocking on your door…
2. The two of you have not yet established clear boundaries within your relationship.
If everything else in your relationship is going well, this may not even be a big deal. It may feel like a pretty trivial thing to him. You could certainly raise the issue and see what he says.
If it feels like a pretty big deal to you, you may have some inner fears or boundary issues that you want to spend some time with, and untangle. Talk to a close friend about those, and figure out whether this is a deal-breaker for you.
Because if this feels like a major relationship problem for you, he deserves to know so that he can make an informed decision about what he wants to do.
3. He’s trying to hide something.
IF the two of you have agreed to stop dating others and start building an exclusive relationship together, there is the icky, sticky possibility that he would like to have his cake and eat it too.
Check your trust levels:
If you talk with him and feel like he’s hiding something, test your theory against other things that have happened in the relationship.
- What level of trust do you have?
- Do his actions consistently match his words?
- Does he do what he says he’ll do?
Check for other relationship foundational stones, too:
- Is he deeply attracted to me?
- Has he told me he wants a serious relationship with me?
- Does he make me a consistent priority in his life?
- Does he make me feel strong and good when we’re together?
The good news is that relationship bumps like this one are totally normal.
And the best long-term relationships are with couples who hit these kinds of bumps, figure them out, and keep on sailing along.
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