Something that spiritual teachers have been teaching for centuries is that life always mirrors back to us the thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that we have on the inside.
This means that you can never attract the right person for you (or heal the relationship you’re in) by talking or thinking about how terrible things are right now.
This only puts the attention on the problem, not the solution and pushes love away – just like “pining” after someone who doesn’t reciprocate your feelings deters the RIGHT person from showing up in your life.
It’s important to understand that your external life is a reflection of what’s going on within you and how you feel about YOURSELF on the inside.
This is NOT about blaming yourself for where you’re at in your love life – if you’re familiar with my work, you know beating yourself up won’t help you at all (in fact, it will actually keep you stuck in the cycle of attracting the wrong kind of people). There’s nothing “wrong” with you, and none of this is your fault!
When you’re feeling frustrated in your love life because you’re trying really hard and “keeping score” – you get stuck in the old reality of whatever it is you want NOT happening for you yet.
In that case, you’re sending out the energy of frustration and discouragement, which only attracts those feelings and experiences back TO you.
I hear from so many people every week who are stuck in this cycle, and I know how frustrating it can be because I’ve been there myself!
Before I turned my love life around, I used to attract emotionally unavailable men who didn’t want to commit. I never knew where I stood with them and I was constantly on-edge because they were always “one foot in and one foot out” of the relationship.
What I didn’t realize at the time was there was a part of MYSELF that was emotionally unavailable, not in touch with my feelings, and terrified of real intimacy.
This is what kept me stuck attracting (and feeling attracted TO) this type of man. I was fine only taking “crumbs” from them because deep down this was all I could handle – I couldn’t tolerate true emotional intimacy so these men felt familiar and safe.
Rather than looking inside and healing this within myself, I allowed what I was experiencing on the outside to influence my beliefs about all men in general. This is what kept me stuck in the cycle of attracting emotionally unavailable men who didn’t want to commit.
The good news is, it’s totally possible to get out of this awful cycle and attract an amazing, high quality partner who wants to be with you just because you’re YOU (I did it myself and I see my clients doing it every day)!
If you can allow people to show up in your life and see them as a piece of YOURSELF that’s here to give you a “message” and help you get one step closer to attracting the relationship you want, it’s amazing how quickly things can start to shift for you!
P.S. – There are very specific things you need to do if you want to attract high quality men who are ready to commit – see my bio for access to my FREE “3 Keys To Attract The Man You Want” report and in-depth audio training to get started.