Question: My instincts keep telling me to wait for the right person, stop being impatient, and just take it easy but I end up jumping at the first opportunity that comes my way! I am so desperate to find someone that I feel as I am willing to date the first man that even glances at me. What am I doing? Why am I doing this?
Answer: I hear you sister! I hear that you are torn on the inside… Part of you is telling you to wait and be patient and to take it easy… And another part of you on the inside is desperate, wanting to find somebody right away and willing to date anybody that even gives you attention! That would drive anyone crazy my love! xox
What are you doing?
I believe you’re looking to soothe this place of lack on the inside from a man’s attention on the outside. It’s totally normal when we inwardly feel empty to outwardly seek something to make us feel better… A man, money, a new purse, a tub of Häagen-Dazs:-) yes? When I work with women (or men) with eating disorders… this is always the emotional cause of the problem.
Why are you doing this?
The reason is that there’s a wound inside, a place inside that requires growth and healing, a place that’s asking to evolve and you either haven’t been listening OR you have misunderstood HOW to make it feel better. The good news is that it’s getting your attention with feelings of desperation… and you’re listening and you’ve reached out to me! Bravo! Brilliant. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different results is insanity, yes? xoxo
My coaching is instead of doing what’s clearly not working that’s making you settle and feel insecure by seeking attention on the outside from a man… instead turn your attention inward to do the deeper healing work so that you can experience the fullness of love, joy, peace and deliciousness not to mention confident sex appeal on the inside every day! (rather than think you’ll only feel that way once a man wants you.)
As I’m writing this article I am in Week 4 of my 7 week Global Webcast called Heart Splayed Wide Open and this week I am teaching about navigating intense emotions. This is part of what you need to learn my love… to come to peace with the discomfort of being alone. I doubt you enjoy that much, yes?
I remember I had the pleasure of meeting Florence Henderson and I asked her what her number one piece of wisdom would be for women in relationships… And she very clearly and directly said, “Fall in love with being alone.” She’s right for only then do we have CHOICE… otherwise we NEED a man to be OK.
If we can’t be alone and love the Little You that’s inside your heart and soothe her and comfort her and acknowledge her and validate her and let her know that no matter whether a man is there or not, that you have her back and that you love her unconditionally. (AKA unconditional love xxox)
If we can’t do that, we will always give our power away. We will always settle. We will always feel desperate and that insecurity actually pushes away quality men, which makes us feel even worse about ourselves, which lowers our self esteem even more and the vicious cycle worsens!
I know that a great place for you to start would be downloading my Vulnerability is the New Sexy complimentary training by clicking the link in my bio below. You’ll LOVE that.
Simultaneously I would get my 3rd Edition Book called “How To Be And Stay Sexy” which you can get in hardcopy, ebook AND it’s also an audiobook. I think you’ll find my voice quite soothing, loving, inspiring and hopefully delicious! This book will teach you how to get the love and attention you deserve by being exactly who you are and cultivating deep reverence for your sacred sexuality and your beautiful body. It will teach you to honor your feelings and cultivate radiant confidence and alluring sex appeal by being exactly who you are.
Literally a woman in Sweden bought it and was reading it on the train. She was only in Chapter 1 but apparently something shifted because after a period of crickets and tumbleweeds of no attention from men… she literally got asked out on a date right there on the train!
I know you know this, but everything is energy and if your energy is seeking and wanting a man… All that does is push love away, yes? However if your energy is radiant, alluring and confident, you will…
- Be happy and confident and
- Be a vortex for quality attention from men
And if this is a priority for you to change and you’re ready to end the pattern of desperation, I would love to invite you to apply for a complementary strategy session with me to see if you are a fit to invite you into my cherished family of global clients.:-) There are limited spots each month so click on the link in my bio below to apply now.
Smart successful women choose the efficient path to success with relationships. It’s my honor to be a valued advisor in many women’s lives who are now in thriving soul shaking conscious relationship.:-) Life is good when you’re happy on the inside AND the outside, yes? You can change this situation you’re in and it’s my pleasure to support you.:-) All my love, Allana XO XO
p.s. Gentlemen who have a similar issue are going to love my complimentary training at GetHerToSayYes.com called How To Be A Noble Badass. Download it now to cure the nice guy and awaken your masculine grandeur xox
Do you want to know how to make any man love you? Watch this special video presentation called “3 Steps To Make A Man Love You” now! It teaches you the 3 Simple Steps any woman can take to make a man not just “fall” for a girl. . . but to actually make him obsessed with her so HE decides he WANTS to be serious… CLICK HERE!