By · @persia_lawson  ·

I’ve had a fair few relationships in my time. Being a self-confessed sex and love addict, however, meant that inevitably, most of those relationships didn’t work out.

This was largely due to a lot of self-destructive behaviour on my part, as well as an inability to spot when someone was TOTALLY wrong for me (and I for them.)

Having spent the last six years working on myself intensively, I’m delighted to say that I’m now in the happiest, healthiest relationship of my life.

Below are 5 signs that have helped me know that this one’s the right one for me:

It’s Easy & Enjoyable from the Get-go

5 Signs That You've Found Mr/Mrs Right“Just be yourself!” – possibly the world’s most annoying, unhelpful dating advice.

The fact is, with some people, no matter how hard you try, you can’t help but feel awkward and self-conscious.

My advice? Don’t force it. Instead, ask yourself if your connection with the person you’re dating feels natural. Is it easy to be yourself around them? Does the conversation flow? Do you enjoy their company? If you don’t now during the early, most exciting stages, chances are you won’t further down the line, either (sorry!)

You Share the Same Core Values

Lots of my previous relationships didn’t work out because fundamentally, we were very different people with very different values.

I’m an adventure-loving extrovert and am in my element when meeting new people. However, several of my exes hated spontaneity and only felt comfortable hanging out with people they already knew, meaning our social life was a constant compromise.

With my current boyfriend however, it’s far easier: he’s the most free-spirited, outgoing and friendly person I know. Like me, fun and freedom are high up on his priorities list, so we feel very much in sync.

Be honest with yourself about what your core values are – and whether or not they match up to those of your partner.

You’re Heading in the Same Direction

Similar to the above, several relationships have ended because we both had different visions for our futures.

With one partner, when I wanted to travel the world, they wanted to settle down and have kids. With another, when I wanted to know that marriage and kids were on the cards, they were 100% resolved that they had no interest in ever settling down.

In both instances, neither of us was willing to compromise – possibly because deep down we knew we’d always resent the other person for being the reason we didn’t follow our dreams.

Ask yourself if you and the person you’re dating want the same things. There’s always room for maneuver, but if what you each want is in total contradiction, this might not be the best person to share your life with in the long run.

The Better It Gets, The Better It Gets

I know that I’m in the right relationship because other people often tell me how happy I seem nowadays.

It’s true – I’m far more available, giving and successful in all other areas of my life because I’m not wasting time and energy obsessing over someone who’ll never be able to give me what I want, or hurting someone because I know I’ll never be able to give them what they want.

Does the person you’re dating inspire you to be the best version of you? Do they help you accept and love yourself and others more? Or do they often cause you to feel anxious, negative or depressed?

Sometimes, It’s Really Hard

That being said, there are aspects of my relationship that are really, really difficult at times. They aren’t a daily struggle by any means, but they do require me to keep on evolving and growing as a person.

If you’re human, you will never have a perfect relationship. But, you can have a great one, so long as you’re both willing to learn, grow and work on yourselves, in whatever way feels right for you.

Are you and your partner committed to progressing in life – both as individuals and as a couple? In my experience, this is probably the most important factor as to whether two people are compatible (or not).

Want YOUR relationship or dating dilemma answered by Persia Lawson?

Check my bio below and head to my website and get in touch via the Contact tab – can’t wait to hear from you!

Persia Lawson

An author, speaker + love coach, Persia Lawson helps millennials attract (+ sustain) soulful relationships in the chaos of the modern world.

Get Persia’s free meditation to attract (+ keep) your soulmate – as well as a FREE love-coaching session with Persia here: persialawson.com

What Do You Think?

2 Comments | Join the discussion

  • Moonmaiden May 18, 2017 at 7:48 am

    Thanks for sharing!

    That’s very good advice and information. It is also very true. It takes regular personal growth for both partners as individuals and as a couple to be successful. I am finally in a healthy, happy long term relationship with a man with whom I feel totally in sync. It’s awesome and we are both very comfortable with each other. Being open and honest about discussing and aleviating our own personsl insecurities about our past failed relationships helps us to affirm each other and reassure each other that we are still dedicated to the same life long goals and considerations as a couple and as individuals. We set couple goals as well as individual goals as we encourage each other to be our best, simply by examples of healthy loving support toward each otber and ourselves. Now, that is the kind of love I’ve been looking for!

    Reply
    • persia lawson   Moonmaiden May 25, 2017 at 7:12 am

      I’m so glad it resonated – and even more happy that you’re happy & in love 🙂

      Persia xxx

      Reply

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