Question: How does a man stay out of the friend zone while at the same time trying to establish a relationship with a woman based on something other than emotions of feeling in love or attraction?
Answer: Thank you for this question, and I will do my best to give you clarity. Let me take part one first, “How does a man stay out of the friend zone?”
The friend zone happens when a man is not allowing his sexual energy to be present when he meets a woman, he’s only allowing his friend energy to be present. It’s sort of like if you could imagine a light switch on your eyes, on your heart and on your pelvis. In the friend zone, the light switch is turned on with the eyes and he sees her, he sees her beauty, her essence, her worth, her light and her dreams… He sees her.
Second the light switch is turned on in his heart, he feels her, he senses her heart, her soul, her essence, her dreams, her radiance and he feels a desire or pull to contribute to her, please her and protect her.
However third, the light switch at his pelvis is turned off. He might feel that he needs to apologize for his sexuality. He might feel hesitant to let her know he is sexually attracted to her for fear of rejection. He might be emasculated from a past relationship and not feeling very potent or Noble in his sexuality.
So just like a light switch, SHE only sees your eyes and your heart… and doesn’t feel your pelvis or sexual energy, so she puts you in the friend-zone because that’s how you’ve shown up behaviorally and energetically.
The second part of your question confuses me a little bit because a friend zone IS what establishes a relationship on something other than sexual attraction. Are you saying that you want it all? Friendship AND Attraction?
I think the main key you might be missing is to be out of your head where the worrying occurs and instead in your body being authentic, present and real. Your freedom lies in turning all your lights on, all your energy centers on and also communicating everything that’s true for you, not just part of it. When you are free to be all of you and you suppress or resist none of you, then you’re able to develop everything… develop your care for her, develop your friendship, and develop the sexual attraction from light touch, kissing or fondling to making love and erotic expression.
If you put the brakes on, be hesitant or hide a part of you… you literally turn off the light switch. It’s like a car with 1 foot on the break and 1 foot on the gas, you don’t go anywhere and get stuck in the friend-zone.
So at the core of it all, I sense what’s required is to have a breakthrough in either your fear of rejection, or release any shame or apology for your sexual nature.
This way you’ll be yourself both Noble and a Badass, and you’ll let her know how you feel getting to know her on all levels. This requires being able to sit in the fire and still love and honor yourself even if she’s not a match for you as a romantic partner, or someone to date.
All of you would get to know all of her… That’s intimacy, vulnerability, authenticity, a real soul shaking conscious relationship. I’m not exactly sure when you’re going to be reading this article however if there’s a chance for you to sign up for my complimentary online Relationship Workshop that runs April 3-11, 2017, DO IT NOW! It’s an in-depth hugely valuable deep dive into how fear of rejection stops us. This is exactly the key to cure the nice guy that so many men are looking for.
This complementary Relationship Workshop goes through three proven healing processes that allows you to heal your wounded heart and navigate intense emotions that normally stop us from showing up or speaking her truth so you can find deep trust in yourself, in your truth and in the universe. The results is that you’ll feel free of the friend-zone, confident in your sexuality and capable of claiming a woman that can truly rock your world for the better 🙂
Definitely sign up now. It runs April 3-11th then the content’s taken down. It’s totally free and so many people have had breakthroughs watching it! You won’t want to miss this chance to heal what might be in the way of you taking relationships that are currently in the friend zone to epic intimate conscious relationship at: www.allanapratt.com/soul-shaking
Additionally another free resource that might be magnificent for you to turn on your sexual center in a way that stays connected to your heart and nobility so that she feel safe scene and honored to open her body, mind and spirit to you… would be my complementary training found at www.gethertosayyes.com called “How to be a Noble Badass”.
And bottom line, I can really feel the intention from which you asked this question… you do care, you are kind, you’re a good man, and I invite you to consider that your sexuality is just as good, true, noble and sacred as the rest of you 🙂
Great love, Allana XO