The term ‘friends with benefits’ has always had an unsavory connotation to it. It usually means that two people are hooking up, with no obligation beyond the here and now.
One or the other might be married or already in a committed relationship. The two involved have no expectations of the wining and dining that usually go along with dating. There are no expectations beyond the here and now. What it comes down to are two horny people getting together to relieve sexual tension.
There are pluses to a ‘Friends with Benefits’ situation, as long as both people are in agreement and on the same page. Both need to be mature adults, honest about what they really want – which should be no strings attached sex, with no other agenda but to have a good time.
Here’s How It Can Work and How You Can Benefit:
Jon and Suzie are platonic friends. They like each other, have engaging conversation, but for whatever reason (work, not ready to date, financial circumstances,) they don’t have the time or inclination to turn their attraction into a full blown relationship. Perhaps Suzie’s workload is such that she simply doesn‘t have the time to have someone on her doorstep three nights a week. And while Jon might think Suzie is awesome, he might have just come out of a relationship and isn’t quite ready to jump into another right now. He’s recovering from an emotional roller coaster.
So here you are with both parties, who for their own personal reasons are reluctant to commit. They come together with the goal of getting together when and if it suits them. This is not to say that one curves a finger and the other drops everything and runs. In most of these situations, meet ups for sex are pre-planned.
The pluses about this arrangement are that the two people involved have an unbeatable rapport and are comfortable with each other. This is not at all uncommon when expectations are set from the very beginning, and the friendship established goes way beyond frolicking between the sheets.
If there are no significant others in the picture, this friend is a person who you can count on to escort you to Aunt Nancy’s wedding or your best friend’s dinner party.
Let’s discuss the benefits of such a relationship:
• You maintain your independence
• You can decline or accept any invitation if a better offer comes your way
• You can be frank about what you want and like in bed
• You can continue your search for the right partner
• You can end the relationship without guilt
• You have permission to relax and have fun
Of course there’s a downside to this kind of arrangement. Only fools fall in love. This was a friend with benefits arrangement from the get-go. If you entered it hoping for more, then that’s on you. However, in the event the feelings are mutual, and it is agreed to turn this into a relationship, then you’re not only guaranteed a good friend, but an exceptional lover.
And that is an unbeatable combination, because friendship can be an even sounder pillar than love.