I always groan when I show up at the gym after January 1st. Lots of people have made new resolutions, and the place is insanely crowded. Still, I give them credit for at least trying to better themselves, even if I struggle to find a parking spot.
While New Year’s resolutions rarely pan out throughout the entire year, at the very least, the end of the old year is a good time to evaluate your strengths and weaknesses over the last 365 days and set some goals for the new one.
If you’re single and unhappy about it, you’re bound to focus your goals at least partly on getting into a relationship. I’m going to share a few resolutions you can make for 2017 (or any year), that will help you get into a relationship.
I’ve tried to make these extremely practical and specific, so that you can actually do them and don’t give up on them.
Expand Your Dating Options
We all have attraction standards, which, of course, is natural. Human evolution has wired our brains to have certain expectations about our mates.
However, attraction is still fluid. In other words, attraction is more of a scale than a hard set of absolutes. So, while I’d never ask you to lower your standards, I am asking you to maybe expand them a bit in the New Year, especially if you’ve been single for awhile.
Many of our standards come not from hard wired attraction, but from societal pressure. So, this new year, if you find someone generally attractive, give that person a chance even if he or she isn’t your perfect match.
Sure, it might not work out. But, then again that person who isn’t your “perfect match” might actually be your soulmate once you get to know him or her. But, you’ll only find out if you give that person a chance.
Approach 100 People
When I first meet many of my clients, they usually tell me of their dating woes. After all, they don’t hire me if they’re already successful at dating. Usually, after they’ve told me about their lack of success and constant rejection, I get down to numbers… how many times have you been rejected?
Typically, they tell me they’ve only been rejected a handful of times throughout their entire life! These are mostly guys in their 20s and 30s, so while rejection is painful, being rejected a handful of times is too small of a sample to tell me anything about their actual attractiveness or ability to get a date.
If you’re single, I’m going to assume that you’re not meeting a lot of people to possibly date. Mathematically, dating can seem tough. You have to meet someone who is attractive to you, is single with similar demographics (e.g. age), and who is open to dating you. Realistically, how many people is that?
I’d guess that, for most men and women, this applies to 1 out of 30 people you encounter. So, finding a date often turns into a numbers game. If you want to meet new dates, unless you have family and friends to set you up or a large network of single people (e.g at university or a large office), you’ll have to approach lots of new people (or be approached by them).
A good New Year’s goal is to approach 100 new people you’d want to date and talk to them. Then, if you find yourself bonding with some, ask for their number or ask them out. If that doesn’t work, then ask 100 more. Make sure to approach people in open environments (e.g. social events) to have the most success.
If you fail, keep approaching until you find success. But, if you strike out with 100, you should perhaps try to learn more about why you’re failing so often. The problem then might have more to do with your basic attractiveness rather than a lack of approaching (see my fourth point).
Randomly talking to 100 strangers is tough by any standards since it requires boldness and being able to handle the inevitable rejection. But, I promise it will improve your chances of getting dates.
Oh, and ladies… you can do this too. Don’t wait around for guys to talk to you. Reach out to the guys you like, even if it goes against what you’re used to doing.
Go to One Singles Event Every Week
One of the biggest complaints about dating is that it’s so hard to find someone who isn’t paired up in a relationship. I’m sure everyone reading this has been there: you meet someone really cool, funny, and attractive… and they have a boyfriend/girlfriend. There is a good antidote to this problem: singles events!
Singles events are ideal places to find a date. Not only is everyone there single, but they’re concentrated in one place with the stated goal of actually meeting someone new.
If you get on sites such as MeetUp and EventBrite (and many others), you can find numerous events for singles, even in smaller metro areas. If your schedule or the size of your area limits you, then go as often as you can. But, don’t make excuses. Get out and do it!
Also, you’ll find going to singles events will tie-in nicely to the previous resolutions: using them to approach many people, including those you might not normally have approached.
Seek Dating Help
I remember being in high school, totally dateless, and receiving bad advice all around from family and friends. Be nice. Be myself. Wait around and girls will like me when they mature. I wasn’t told how long I’d have to be single until they matured. Oh, and give them flowers to get them to like me (very bad, creepy advice).
I was frustrated because dating was very important to humanity (and me personally) as the gateway to intimate companionship, marriage, sex, romance, and more–yet no one could give me quality tips to succeed at it.
This New Year, get some help with dating. Stay away from romantic comedies and novels. Those are fake. Instead, read quality, blunt books about the topic (I’ve written a few). Check out articles here on Digital Romance. Put the concepts into practice: a lot.
If you’re not attractive, read up on that topic too, then make changes. If you’re extremely busy, then maybe consider consulting matchmakers.
My main point is not to just sit around doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. At least attempt to better your dating skills and improve your attractiveness.
Good luck and Happy New Year! If you stick with these resolutions, you’ll definitely have more dating success this year. Be sure to not give up! When March rolls around and they’ve led to a girlfriend or boyfriend, you’ll be happy you didn’t give up.
Find out how you can make a man not only love you, but make him ADDICTED to you… CLICK HERE!