You popped up in his matches. You’ve been emailing (or texting) back and forth. He’s even been flirting… But, he hasn’t asked you out. What should you do?
Just flirting and texts.
This drives lots of women crazy.
I’m old-fashioned. I don’t ask guys out.
If a man wants me, he’s got to step up and show his interest.
This is the mark of a confident man.
But it’s not just about being old-fashioned…
It’s about protecting your heart, well-being and time.
Because, today, it’s easy to meet dozens of people. It’s likely that he’s just wasting your time (and other women’s time, as well).
Why Mixed Signals Shouldn’t Make You Crazy
In my early twenties, I let guys drive me crazy. They would tell me one thing (that I wanted to hear) and do the opposite.
Once I realized that a high quality man is a man of his word, I no longer got sucked in.
A high quality man will be straight with you. He won’t string you along.
If he likes you, he’ll ask you out.
If he’s sending mixed signals, trying to “make you fall for him” or “raise his status,” he’s not a high quality man.
Your heart is still pining away for this guy. You swear he likes you.
You think he may be shy?
Well, let’s settle this with logic.
How shy could he be if he emailed you, asked for your number and text-flirted with you?
REAL high quality men know what they want—and take action to get it.
We ladies get caught up in the loop and tolerate poor behavior because we want to believe what he says.
Or… we want to know the reason he’s behaving this way.
We don’t like unsolved puzzles. Our brain wants to close the loop. It wants closure.
Let me share some reasons and close that loop for you.
There’s A Reason He’s Not Asking You Out
I know it’s hard to hear, but if a man is flirting with you, emailing or texting you (for days or weeks), but isn’t asking you out…
There are reasons.
Here are a few possible ones:
- He has a girlfriend or wife, doesn’t want to cheat (physically) and flirting with you makes him feel he’s “still got it.”
- He thinks you’re a great woman, but not his type.
- He’s not looking for a relationship at the moment.
- He’s using attention from you to boost his ego. (Another play on “I still got it!”)
- He gets his kicks from virtual “relationships.”
So that leaves the plain truth, which can be painful…
He doesn’t want to ask you out.
And you should be happy about it.
Would you want someone who is lukewarm, to ask you out? Or a man who thinks you’re okay to date—for now?
Or, worse yet, someone who isn’t serious at all–but would use you for what he can get?
What do I do instead?
Are you already in the situation now? Are you confused about what to do?
Well, if it’s been a week or more of texting or email, don’t settle for that.
Don’t put up with a “text & flirt” connection.
It’s not a friendship, nor is it a relationship… but he’s benefiting from it.
He’s taking energy, emotion and space you could be giving to a high quality man who truly desires you.
So, end it.
And by end it, I mean stop texting or emailing back.
No need to explain anything to him.
You’re not even friends!
If you do, chances are he’ll just try to charm you back into meeting his needs—and wasting your time.
Continue the communication only if he asks to meet you.
But, let’s say, he’s been really nice and you don’t want to end abruptly, by ignoring his message.
You can respond with this, “Michael, I’m not into endless texting/emailing. You can’t get to know anyone that way. All the best.”
It’s short, polite and let’s him know why you’re no longer responding.
Don’t believe what he writes, believe what he does.
Open that emotional space and energy for a man who REALLY wants you.
And remember to let him win YOU over.
With love and in service,
P.S. Ready to be magnetic to high quality men? Visit my bio and website for complimentary access to “4 Ways to Instantly Show You’re a High Value Woman.” You’ll also get access to my NEW series “How to Attract to Affluent, High Quality Men.”