Ever wonder what instantly lowers your value with quality men and in relationships? Here’s the one thing you should know…
Since I launched the High Value Woman™, tons of experts have hopped on the ‘high value’ wagon—so I’d like to share something they aren’t.
When I was 19, I behaved like the lowest value woman I knew. I put up with cheating, lying and emotionally abusive behavior.
It doesn’t take a genius to realize these men were low value and low quality.
Even if you’ve got a good sense of self-worth and don’t put up with poor behavior, there are dozens of behaviors that instantly show quality men you’re low value.
We’ll discover the most notorious one today. I’ve seen it in lots of women in their 20’s to 60’s and beyond.
If a high-caliber, quality man instantly feels this—even if he can’t put his finger on it—he’s out.
It’s because he’s got lots of options…
One of them being, “I’d rather be by myself.”
Have you ever watched TV shows where a man is complaining to his buddies about his wife nagging to no end?
She sucks the emotions, energy and resources from him, friends and family!
I’m not saying all women are like that, but a lot are. I’ve witnessed it thousands of times—with family members, girlfriends and clients.
You’ve got to be your own bank. You have to tap into your own emotional reserves. You have to know when to voice your displeasure—or when to be quiet and resolve it another way.
Without… blaming him, giving him the cold, silent treatment or resorting to passive-aggressive/manipulative “he-should-read-my-mind” behavior.
I once dated an Italian diplomat who was learning English. He used to drive me up the wall with questions about English grammar. He wanted to practice speaking with me all the time.
Well, I did not want to speak English because I was living in Italy and trying to learn Italian.
I remember thinking, “Heck, you’ve got English, Spanish and French instructors. Go ask them and leave me to run my business!”
One day, I thought about how much time he invested in talking about my business. How many contacts he sent my way. The times he was there to hold me the times I fell to pieces when things weren’t going right. (There were a BUNCH of them!) The surprise dates to the opera, theatre and new restaurants…
And he never complained!
He was really there emotionally for me on so many levels. He took on much, much, much more than I should have asked for.
I was an emotional pit in his life.
Yet, I was nit-picking him on things that were far outweighed by the good.
I felt like a world-class…well, you fill in the blank.
From that moment, I started doing things build my own emotional bank, meet my needs and add to my reserve tank without him.
I was happier to support him—and had more patience to do so.
As a high value woman, you’ve got to give when you don’t want to. When you don’t feel like it. When it’s inconvenient. When you’re busy. When you’re sick. When you’re upset with him.
I’m not saying over-give and run yourself ragged. (Being a martyr is the other extreme.)
But you can’t be in a relationship, take emotionally and ONLY give if and when it’s convenient for you.
It rarely will be.
Besides, if you’re with the right, high-caliber, quality man—chances are he’s giving you A LOT. Even when it’s inconvenient for him or he doesn’t want to.
3 Tips to Build Your Emotional Bank & Resources
No. 1: Be Selective With Voicing Your Gripes
Is it really worth it to start an argument over him not putting the toilet seat down?
No. 2: Be Grateful
Always say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ for everything you receive in every relationship. No matter how big or small.
No. 3: Focus on Adding Value
Ask yourself, “How do I add to his life? How can I add more to his life? more often than, “How does he add value to mine?”
I’m not shaming you or anyone else who may be doing this. I used to do it myself.
Yet, the choices you make will make or break your relationships.
A high value woman adds resources—not taxes them.
In order to respond in a healthy way, you need to have a solid emotional foundation. It’s one of the things I teach in The Magnetic Woman Factor™.
I show women how to cultivate their own emotional banks and build a solid, high value foundation.
If you found this of value, click “SHARE” on Facebook to share it with women you care about. Let’s encourage our sisters, aunts, mothers, daughters, coworkers and girlfriends to be high value women.
With love and in service,
P.S. Want more? Visit my bio for access to your free audio “4 Ways to Show You’re a High Value Woman.”