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Let’s face it, in 2014 it’s guaranteed we’ll never be far from our phones. As a result, texting has become second nature and often replaces phone calls (and letters too, if anyone remembers those).

Not being able to see who we’re talking to can often lead to a dangerous sense of false courage, but there is a certain type of talk which benefits from that little bit of extra bravery – the sext.

Happy Woman SextingTalking dirty via text, just like classic dirty talk, can always be a little intimidating at first. But learn how to do it right and you can drive your man crazy with just the smallest of effort of your texting fingers…

Choose your vocabulary

While men like to see things to get turned on, women enjoy detailed description – just think of the popularity of erotic fiction novels in recent years. So if you want to receive a really sexy response, make sure you show him what you want by going in to detail with exactly what you’d like to be doing to him right now.

Paint the scene with vivid description and set the right tone to help your partner imagine it’s really happening. Forget all text talk from the offset, e.g. ‘I’m so turned on right now LOL’, and avoid overly crude expressions, it’ll only ruin your imaginary moment.

Experiment with mixed media

Men may be more visual than women but you can still have fun with pictures without compromising your dignity. Get a little creative and incorporate your next sext into a Snapchat. You don’t have to be graphic and revealing and remember screen grabbing is a real 21st century problem where it comes to sharing your most private parts, if that’s what you were considering.

So what can you do?

Take a quick photo of your sexiest underwear peeking out of your wardrobe, or send over a photo that shows your shoulders but conceals any clothing below. Tease, add more detail than you can with words alone, but make sure you keep him guessing a little as to what is really going on in that picture (handy if you’re actually tucked up in your comfiest pyjamas).

Don’t be afraid to use your imagination

Woman in White Sexting on BedThis is a great time to explore beyond the usual restrictions of your sex life. As the content of your texts isn’t bound by the rules of reality, think of some crazy things you could be doing that really make you turned on. Text him some of your secret fantasies, just how you imagined them, he’ll respond to the authenticity of your words and who knows – he may even be interested in trying them out for real sometime.

If your man is the more adventurous type, catch him out by sending him a provocative text while he’s out in public somewhere. Just check where he is first so you know if he’s in an important business meeting or having a meal with the family – there really can be a wrong moment.

Check before you hit send

Nothing quite compares to that wave of anxiety that ensues whenever you discover that you just hit send on a message to the wrong person. You can still see the message, you know they probably haven’t seen it yet, but there’s nothing you can do to stop the inevitable.

It really feels like you may never be able to leave your house again. I speak from experience (OK, multiple experiences) I offer a personal guarantee, girl to girl, if you spend two seconds double-checking recipient, you’ve made a very wise time investment.

Apart from that, explore, experiment and have fun! You’ll be a natural before you know it and your extra confidence might become a little more real than imaginary.

Lucy Jones

Part of Team Toyboy Warehouse, Lucy’s on a mission to challenge old and obsolete views about cougar dating and empower men and women to go after what they really want. Join in the discussion on her latest blogs about dating, including the motivational Don’t Fear The ‘C’ Word, at or follow on Twitter: @ToyboyWarehouse

What Do You Think?

1 Comment | Join the discussion

  • anil chauhan Oct 12, 2014 at 9:43 pm

    i love may india


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