It’s well known that women are in a hurry. We are in a hurry to do things, to accomplish things, to get results, to move forward, to get to the next step, to know where this is going and so forth.
We have a plan. Be it a five year plan, a ten year plan or a 30 year plan, we know how we want things to develop and grow, we’ve got it all figured out. Thus, if we’re on a date with a guy, surely it is because he’s ready to date. We’ll just have to give it our best and make it work.
Well, I’ve got news for you. More than half of the men out there use dating as a distraction from ongoing worries, as an ego boost or as a way to think less about the ex. It’s as simple as that. Very few of them have a grand plan and even less, a plan that matches yours.
So, how can you tell?
1.The Amazing First Date
The location is classy, the cocktail is trendy and he’s nothing but charming. Hours pass by in the blink of an eye and when you confess your outlook on life, he’s right there with you. You can almost feel it in the air, it’s a match made in Heaven. But then, when you realize that he spends more than half of his time abroad and he makes dirty texting his main form of communication, it all quickly dissolves into the mundane.
All he wants is fun. And if you want the same, go for it. But don’t hold your breath for more. You don’t give up and you give it a couple of years on on and off dating. Because, you know, you’re a match… until you’re not.
2. The Promising First Date
You’ve been emailing for weeks, because he wanted to be absolutely sure that you two are on the same page on most things. You feel like you know each other already.
As soon as you meet, you both decide to kiss in the heat of the moment. It’s wonderful. And then he gazes into your eyes… a lot… almost all the time. Hours pass by with intense conversation and you feel your head becoming heavy. A headache is just around the corner. He asks you if you want children – on your first date. The headache has arrived. You decide to call it a day. He’s dumbstruck. He feels you’ve only just started to hit it off. You leave. But you don’t give up. He’s serious about wanting a relationship. So, you get a second date. And then you talk some more. But you already know it’s in vain.
3. The Honest First Date?
He’s won you over with a brazen line and you feel his boldness refreshing. The two of you set your first date after only a couple of emails. He’s got a great smile and a confident air about him. He does confess that he’s got a bad cold, but he preferred not to cancel to not give a bad impression. You sense his discomfort and after an hour of chatting, the two of you agree on a second date.
The second date is followed by the 3rd and then the fourth and things are swell, except you realize that he’s the eternal bachelor who’s been dating on and off for the last 20 years of his life. His most interesting stories are from his teens and has a life situation that can hardly allow for more than flings. So, you let it fizzle out, struck by the fact that not even the good guy seems to be the right guy.
So, what do you need to look for to know if he’s ready to date, not just for fun, for a distraction, for an ego boost but for getting to really know you and possibly more?
Two things – a plan and a pace. Because that’s what you have. You know what you want and how often you could/would meet for a date. The rest is history, or shall we call it chemistry?