Finding love in our modern dating world is enough to make a person crazy. You’ve likely dated some guys who have made you wonder, in retrospect, why you ever gave them a chance.
It’s sometimes hard to know if you’ve found a keeper who is worth your time. Here are a few things to consider to help you decide:
He’s Comfortable With Intimacy
If you want a relationship that will stick, you’ve got to be willing to deepen your emotional, mental, and sexual intimacy. A guy that’s really into you (and not afraid of intimacy) will be willing to take the risk to share himself with you in deep, vulnerable ways. He will move toward you, and not away from you as the relationship deepens. He’ll share his fears, flaws, and strengths to you and allow you to do the same. This will undoubtedly help you feel peace and security in a relationship. If he pulls away when you are emotional, or asking for more… think twice about whether this one is a keeper.
He Doesn’t Play Games
If you are constantly strategizing about whether you should call or text him next, because he seems to pull away the more you contact him, this is a sign he’s not a keeper. If he can live with you wanting to text whenever, and you can feel comfortable texting him at any hour of the day, you’re golden. At some point, you cross over the line from the anxiety of dating to the security of a relationship where communication is expected and accepted. This is a good sign that he’s into you.
He Isn’t Afraid of You
As women, we can sometimes have a lot of strong emotions, which can feel like a roller coaster ride to our partners. We can cry one minute, get lost in worry or fear, and be laughing the next. A man who is stable in his masculine presence, and comfortable with his own and other’s emotions is most definitely a keeper. The keeper will not think you’re too needy or emotional. He’ll be present with your emotions and he’ll validate them, not dismiss them. If he isn’t threatened or annoyed by your flowing emotional state, high five yourself. You found a good one.
Are you a priority? Does he follow through with what he says he’ll do? When you’re in a crisis or just having a bad day, can he put his needs aside to support you? You should feel like a priority, with consistency. Think strong, steady, and dependable. Someone who cancels plans, doesn’t follow through, or leaves you guessing can cause a lot of stress and anxiety. A great relationship should feel like your refuge and your foundation, the place you can return to when the world around you falls apart. If he’s got a knack for being there for you, he’s definitely worth it.
This is a given. If you don’t have trust, it becomes impossible to grow into a committed relationship. How do you know if someone is trustworthy? Dependability and consistency are characteristics of a trustworthy person.
Actions should also match words. If someone talks a good talk, but doesn’t walk the walk, it is a sign that he’s not worth trusting. Does he share his life with you, and does he want to know more about your life? Trust comes from taking a risk with someone and then learning that it was safe to take that risk.
Don’t waste your time on someone who’s only half in, or not in at all. And trust that there are plenty of possibilities out there waiting for you if this one isn’t measuring up to your standards. You’re worth it.