By · @CarrieAcinglife  ·  · 299 Shares

“I don’t think it’s necessarily healthy to go into relationships as a needy person. Better to go in with a full deck.” – Anjelica Huston

Do you meet men who are totally into you at first, but slowly they fade away and you can’t figure out why?

Do you need constant reassurance that the guy you are dating still loves you?

Do you get mad if your guy isn’t available to you 24/7?

Needy Girl? Here’s What Makes You One…Maybe you are just a little too needy. Maybe the guy really likes you, but as time goes on he starts to think you can’t function without his reassurance which drains his energy. No one wants to be responsible for someone else’s happiness.

Here are a few Stupid Mistakes that Make You seem Needy. Learn them. Stop them.

1. You Get Mad if He Doesn’t Return a Text Immediately

In a Relationship

Men have jobs and lives. You aren’t the center of the universe. At the beginning of a relationship it is very natural to text all day and night. As time goes, this is not realistic.

Of course you want him to be dying to talk to you, to hang on your every word and every meme. He might at first, but at some point, he has to go back to his daily routine. Frankly, if he doesn’t, there is probably something wrong with him.

If he doesn’t text you right away, be cool about it. NEVER say, “What took you so long?” or “What were you doing?” or “I was waiting for you to get back to me” or anything remotely resembling these comments.

Always be happy and upbeat. If he is super busy at work tell him you know he’s busy and you just wanted to say hi. LEAVE it at that.

This advice applies to a generally healthy relationship. If you are having problems in the relationship and he is out with friends or not coming home, then obviously you would need to take a different approach.

When Dating

If he isn’t your boyfriend and isn’t texting you on a regular basis, you have two choices. The first option is to ignore him. He isn’t interested. The second is to tell him he is really sweet, but it seems that you are looking for different things (you want to get to know someone and be serious) and wish him luck.

However, if you are dating and he takes a while to get back to you, stop stressing. Jeez. Generally, he is just busy and it has nothing to do with whether he wants to talk to you.

Relax. Getting anxious over a text that isn’t returned immediately produces negative thoughts and negative thoughts lead to negative actions which lead to a negative outcomes. Know you are worth it and any guy who wants you will make an effort. If he doesn’t, it is HIS LOSS. Don’t take it personal. Move on.

2. You Ask Him Out

I disagree when dating experts say not to plan a date. If you are meeting a guy for the first time and he doesn’t live in your area, it is unreasonable to expect him to drive and pick a place when he knows nothing and you know everything.

However, you should never ask a guy out on a date. RULE NUMBER ONE: If a guy wants to do something, he does it. Never forget this. Make it your mantra. If he isn’t asking you out, it’s because he doesn’t want to ask you out.

Once you are in an exclusive relationship, it is more than reasonable to plan dates or ask him if he wants to do something on Friday. Before then, forget it. However, I still would leave 95% of all plans up to him. A man needs to be the leader. Let him lead.

3. You Continually Ask Him How You Look

If you didn’t look good, he wouldn’t be dating you. If you continually ask him how you look in a certain outfit or if he likes your hair or your shoes, you will come across as needy and insecure.

No one wants someone who is needy and insecure. No one. Find a way to curb your anxiety on the issue. He can’t do it for you.

4. You Show Up at His House Unannounced

Never, ever, never. Unless he is your boyfriend and you are planning a surprise birthday party that everyone is invited to and you’re sneaking in to decorate never show up unannounced.

If you show up uninvited, he will think you don’t trust him and he will think you are pathetic. Pathetic is not an attractive quality.

Overall, think before you act. It isn’t his job to make you feel secure. It is his job to pursue you, show interest and make an effort. If he does his job, you need to do yours.

Don’t be that needy girl. Be the girl who wants, but doesn’t need a relationship. Be the girl who let’s him make the effort to win you over.

Carrie L. Burns

Carrie L. Burns is a blogger on a mission of self-discovery. As a sexual abuse survivor that struggled for years with depression anxiety, low self-esteem, lack of self-love and relationship issues she found her purpose through writing and sharing her story with others.

Additional work can be found at

What Do You Think?

4 Comments | Join the discussion

  • Wondering Oct 23, 2016 at 7:50 pm

    What do you do when the guy is the needy one?

  • lasto Sep 4, 2016 at 4:46 pm

    Been together for over a year. I don’t know if I should end it or stick it out. He’s super “busy” dad and we rarely see each other. I feel like it’s excuse after excuse and if he wanted me he’d def make time but he says it’s just busy with kuds, work, etc.

    • Lesh   lasto Sep 4, 2016 at 5:01 pm

      Nope move on…. If he is into you he will make the effort… I was seeing the same guy… Only came around when it suits his needs… Not acceptable .


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