Recently I was asked, why it is important that sexuality and spirituality join together? The purpose of this week’s article is to introduce this tantalizing topic to you.
Most of us grew up with a very limited view and experience of sex. Focused on the genitals only, and all about reaching the big “O” then rolling over and going to sleep, sex was about the body and how to experience insurmountable pleasure. Although I spent my early years experimenting with fancy vibrators, strawberry lube, and creative sexual positions that were supposed to add oodles of “Os” nothing knocked my socks off swifter than when I felt “God” for the first time while making love.
It was in that magical and mystical moment that I remember feeling ecstatic; also confused, curious and….relieved. There, I had found what I didn’t even know I was seeking – a sexual spiritual experience. And let me tell you, after having “what she’s having” with a side dish of spiritual connection, there is no going back.
You see we are all yearning for only one thing – connection. It takes an awakened heart to realize that we are all connected no matter what and that each and every one of us is Divine. Instead we live a life of separation, of disconnection. We feel rejected, separate from those we love, angry about loss, alone and lonely.
What if instead, we understood and experienced ourselves as connected to everyone and everything in our Universe?
That mystical magical moment I mentioned was just that. The shared sexual journey I was on that day led me to an experience that was so much greater than a clitoral climax. I felt at one with the something much larger than myself; and the only word I had to describe it was: God.
Bringing the spiritual and sexual together is what Tantra is all about. Tantra literally means “tools to weave together and unite.” Similar to yoga practice, Tantra practice unites us with God, with ourselves and if we care to share the energy, Tantra practice can powerfully unite us with our partner.
You may be wondering now, “what about love?” Love is the foundation for bringing the spiritual into the sexual. It is the glue that holds these vast and visceral experiences together. Without love we do not have access to the spiritual realm, for love is not only the path we take to experience the Divine, it is also the path itself.
So how do you begin to marry your sexuality with your spirituality? Here are 3 of the initial practices to get you started:
1. Spend time in your heart rather than in your head.
Most people find this very difficult but sitting in meditation for 10 minutes or longer is vital to supporting you in residing in your heart. Set the timer, drop into inner self and watch your breath (or listen to your heart beating.)
2. Watch your judgments.
Listen to your mind judge all day and all night long! It’s what the mind does. Acknowledge the thought and follow it with this mantra, “I don’t know what it is, but I love it.” Believe me when I say that this mantra works. It’s up to us to come back to love and let go of judgments. It’s a practice that will change the course of your life.
3. Set an intention before being sexual with yourself or your partner.
Simply close your eyes, breathe and allow a prayer or blessing to come forth. Share aloud or to yourself what your prayer is and invite the powerful energy of love-making to support your prayer for the highest good of all.