Texting etiquette in the early stages of dating needs to be defined. It’s so confusing to know what to say and what to avoid.
Everyone has different communication styles. Sometimes I would “meet” someone online, after exchanging phone numbers he would text me “good morning” and “good night” every day, and frequently desired ongoing text-conversations in between. Another guy I met at a bar didn’t even text me for five days and then it was to say, “great meeting you, are you available Saturday to get together for a drink?”
Texting adds an element of complication to new relationships. Sometimes it’s all to easy to fall into what I call the digital trap where we lose the value of face to face communication.. We take it for granted and even telephone communication isn’t prioritized. Avoid that mistake so it doesn’t cost you losing someone great.
The bottom line: do what you’re comfortable with, be yourself, and follow these simple guidelines when you begin pursuing someone:
Whenever you receive the phone number of someone you like take it slow in the beginning. Let them know you’re interested in getting to know them, but before you do anything more…call him or her and ask them out!
Confirm a Date
Let your date know you’re looking forward to getting together later on, and/or send a message when you’re at the designated meeting location so they know where to find you. Everyone appreciates someone who’s polite and considerate.
Tell Him/Her You Had a Nice Time
The day after your date, I encourage you to send a text letting the other person know you enjoyed the night before. It can be simple and to the tune of, “Thank you for the fun evening, I really enjoyed our conversation last night. Let’s do it again sometime.”
Short and Sweet Messages
Let him/her know you’re thinking of them and wish him or her a good day; that always brings a smile to someone’s face.
Send a Cute Picture
So many people these days want to share photo’s when they start texting with and dating someone. In the beginning my advice is to send a couple (fully clothed) photo’s but leave it at that at least until you take it to an intimate level.
Ask Someone Out
What happened to asking someone out the old fashioned way? Call them up on the phone and suggest dinner and a movie, or a drink after work. It is much more personal and makes someone feel important when you make the effort and pick up the phone.
Break Your Own Standards
If you’ve set the standard of texting every day from the beginning of your relationship you need to maintain that level of communication. If all of the sudden you stop texting “good morning” or various updates throughout the day the other person is going to suspect something’s up. Don’t start anything you can’t continue on a regular basis.
Whatever you do, don’t send a nude photo or video before sleeping with someone for the first time.
If someone stops responding to your texts, after a day or two it is acceptable to call and leave a message. If they don’t call you back they’re probably not interested anymore; just move on. Do NOT ambush them with texts or photos; that’s text-stalking which is immature and unnecessary. Take a hint.
Break-Up Via Text
As much as we all hate letting someone down, or hurting someone’s feelings breaking up via text is lame. Be better than that and break up the mature way with a phone call or in person.
My advice to you: enjoy the early flirtatious stage in a relationship. Getting to know someone new can be fun and exciting. There are appropriate times to enjoy texting each other, but don’t miss out on all the fun of staying up late talking on the phone or closing down the coffee shop after talking face to face for several hours. Those are the times when memories are made, and memories are what good relationships are made of.
Do you have any of your own texting do’s and don’ts that I left out? Leave your comments below!