By · @ask_amie  ·  · 167 Shares

Garnering the attention of a quality partner can be hard sometimes, especially if you are a person who does not fly very high on the social butterfly spectrum.

So if part of your dating struggles involves just not getting asked out by anyone, don’t worry because not only are there many other daters out there with the same issue, but there are actual steps you can take to improve your chances of getting asked out.

In my years of being a Master Certified Relationship Coach, I’ve found that the true key is for you is to make a decision to look both inward at the way you think about dating, as well as outward, and the way you engage prospective partners out there in the world. Once you have taken that step and coupled it would a desire to keep learning you will be having no shortage of men banging at your door.

So here are the 5 Simple Reasons You’re Not Getting Asked Out:

Your Body Language

Many studies have shown the power of your body language and the effect it can have on your relationships (or lack thereof). I have a single friend who is so pretty and so fun, but when she interacts with others she is constantly crossing her arms. This lone action is a classic indicator to other single men that she is closed off and unavailable, despite the fact she is neither of those things.

Other unfortunate body language faux pas that can keep men at bay are things like: rarely smiling, fidgeting with your hands or feet, or lack of any real eye contact. Men are visual creatures if nothing else, so by showing them body language that is confident and classy and available it will go a long way to improve your dating life.

It’s All About You

Most people enjoy talking about themselves, but ironically very few want to listen to anyone else talk about themselves. It’s an interesting conundrum, how much or how little to talk to attract men.  During social situations if you are one of those women who spends far too much time talking about what is the latest and greatest in your life and not enough time engaging the room, then you are going to repel men like Kryptonite to Superman.

Asking questions to others and occasionally interjecting personal thoughts or anecdotes is almost always the best course of action. Have you heard of the 80/20 rule of communication? Spend 80% actively listening and 20% of the time talking about yourself. This can be applied to any social situation. So if your goal is to get a man to show enough interest in you to ask you out, then you need to make sure to show him that your only interest isn’t you. And if you’re struggling in this area, don’t be afraid to reach out to me here.

You’re Not Dressing for Dating Success

If I told you that tomorrow you will meet the man of your dreams. How do you think you’ll prepare yourself for that meeting? I am guessing you will make sure your hair looks amazing, your make-up is perfect, and you will put on the outfit that you think will make you look your best. Am I right?

Of course, I don’t know for sure if you’ll meet the man of your dreams tomorrow, but can you honestly say that it won’t happen? To draw people to you, you want to be your best self at all times, and this includes the way you look when you are out in the world around other singles.

The bottom line is that when it comes to first impressions you don’t get any do overs. Do some research by asking friends or family for their input or go find a colorist or fashion expert to help find the things that look best on you. Because when you look your best (and subsequently feel your best), potential partners will almost certainly be drawn to you and when that happens a date may be just around the corner.

You’re Not Hanging Out with Your Singles Tribe

Finding potential partners who have the same core values and interests is so key to finding love. Just because you may go to bars or clubs or events that have singles in them doesn’t mean that you are in the right place for you. If you are someone who loves to hike, then join a singles hiking group.

If you are someone who wants to date someone who has a giving heart, then plan to go to as many charity events as you can. Being in the right place at the right time is how all good relationships start, so make sure that you are doing exactly that by going to places where your odds of meeting a quality partner are highest.

You Never Make the First Move

I find it unfortunate that so many women today still find it inappropriate or unnerving to ask a guy out or even to talk to a man before he talks to them. If your goal is to find a quality guy, why would you choose to let the possibility of one getting away stop you from making the first move? I mean, couldn’t he be as shy as you?

It doesn’t take much to let a guy know you are interested without being too forward. If you are trying to meet someone for the first time, maybe try a simple compliment about something you find interesting: like saying you like their shirt or shoes or hair.

If you have been chatting with a guy and he fails to ask you out, then stop him and simply ask if he would like to grab coffee sometime. Sure he can say no, but he also may say yes and be the guy you have been waiting for. So next time you are in line at the grocery store or at your local bar and you see a guy you might like to meet, make the first move. I mean, what do you have to lose?

You deserve to love and be loved the way you want. I’d LOVE to help you find your forever relationship, reach out to me HERE or grab a free copy of my 5 Dating Traps Keeping You Single HERE.

Do you want to know how to make any man love you? Watch this special video presentation called “3 Steps To Make A Man Love You” now! It teaches you the 3 Simple Steps any woman can take to make a man not just “fall” for a girl. . . but to actually make him obsessed with her so HE decides he WANTS to be serious… CLICK HERE!


Amie Leadingham

Amie Leadingham is a Certified Master Relationship Coach. She provides a Conscious Dating Program that is hand tailored to match each client’s dating and relationship needs. Through her coaching process, singles discover: clearly defined values they want in a life partner, create a vision their ideal relationship, and empower a new positive mindset that helps them attract and keep the love they deserve.

Her approach is proven, she has applied these same tools to her personal life and met her amazing husband. She invites you to grab her free copy of “5 Dating Traps Keeping You Single” click here. Amie Leadingham was named one of LA’s Best Dating Coaches for 2014.

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