Everyone has opinions about online dating. I personally think it is a great way to give your dating life a boost. It’s also a great way to become more comfortable talking to men after you have been out of the game for a while.
Just like dating the old fashioned way – meet, exchange numbers, wait for a call, go on date, and realize he is great or find out he’s a weirdo – online dating can be a toss-up. But when it comes to online dating, at least more men are asking, right?
But then we have our questions, too…
- Which men do I answer?
- How can I tell if he is being honest?
- How much do I tell him about myself before we meet?
- How many messages do we exchange before going on a date?
And then there is the time factor…
If you have ever dabbled with online dating, you know how time consuming it can be. Honestly, it can feel like a part-time job at times. So after a few months of sitting on OkCupid, trying to give every guy that messaged me a chance (I am equal opportunist, after all), I realized that I wasn’t getting much done. I was spending hours each day on dating sites, scrolling through profiles and concocting amazing messages to send to men I would probably never met in person, instead of actually doing any writing for myself.
I sat down and thought about the experiences I’d had so far with online dating. I had gone on many dates, the majority of them never leading to a second. I realized that by trying to be open-minded and going out with every guy who seemed to be able to carry a conversation, I was ignoring a lot of the signs that a guy wasn’t right for me. And these signs were flashing on the computer screen right in front of my face.
Ultimately, I was wasting a lot of time.
So I came up with a system. I decided on the four main factors I considered when viewing a potential date online.
Then I thought about my previous experiences and found the point in time for each of them when I should have just hit delete. Now I use that as a basic guideline to make the most out of the time I have allotted for online dating.
Do you need help getting noticed on an online dating site? CLICK HERE to learn how you can attract a guy and get him to approach you.
When I mentioned to a guy friend that online dating felt like a job, he said I was being ridiculous. As a guy, he didn’t realize how many messages a woman gets if she is semi-attractive and has a decent profile.
I opened the app on my phone to show him just what I meant. Over the next ten minutes, I got four new messages. (The more active you are on the site, the more messages you will receive.)
My friend was a little surprised to see it. We went through a couple of my messages together, and he was even more surprised by the way I immediately deleted some of them and saved the others for later.
He thought I was being a snob because I wasn’t even willing to look at some of their profiles before moving on. But the truth is, if I read the profile of each man who messaged me, I would have to devote more time than I have to spare to online dating.
It takes up to ten minutes – sometimes longer – to go through each guy’s profile, check out his pictures, and then compose a good response. It is time consuming, and I find it extremely annoying when I get to the bottom of a long profile and it says something so off-putting that I would never respond to him.
Now I maximize my time by looking for red flags in these four areas when online dating: the initial message a man sends, his pictures, his profile content, and – if we get so far – the conversation.
Stay tuned next Friday for Part 2 of this three-part series!
Learn the secret formula to make the right guy approach you on an online dating site ==> CLICK HERE!