Ever wonder what to say when people ask nosy, over-the-top questions that super-stretch (and overstep) your boundaries?
If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s people asking questions that CLEARY overstep your boundaries, waste your time or suck your energy.
Everywhere I look, I witness this irritating behavior. My girlfriends, family members, clients and High Value Woman™ tribe members ALL share stories with me.
Heck, I’ve experience a few myself lately. (Don’t get me started!)
So I decided to share some practical, direct, slightly sassy (yet classy) replies you can use to gracefully respond.
Because if you don’t master the art of the graceful response to boundary-breaking questions, you’ll never feel fully in your power.
My parents raised me to be polite and agreeable. Yet, as a grown woman out in the world, it hasn’t always served me well.
Especially if you don’t have self-loving boundaries and have a deep ‘need to please.’
When you grow a pair of ovaries life becomes a lot less stressful. People respect your boundaries.
So let’s address a few of those pesky questions that have you thinking, “Really? You did NOT just ask me that.”
Tacky Question No. 1:
Have you gained weight?
Honestly, I can’t believe some people think it’s okay to ask such questions!
I overheard one woman ask another woman this question. This one just needs nipping in the bud. Pronto.
I suggest you say something like, “You know it’s rude to ask that question. I’m only telling you so you don’t embarrass yourself again.”
Tacky Question No. 2:
Can I pick your brain?
We’ve all had friends or acquaintances who have asked to pick our brains (read: free advice).
One day I get an email from a woman who tells me she was coming to Southern California for a seminar.
She wrote, “I love your work and I’d love to meet you. Can I pick your brain? I’ll treat you to lunch if you could drive up to meet me in LA.”
I actually laughed out loud!
She knew I lived in Orange County. (The drive alone would’ve taken at least 4 hours of MY time!)
I had my assistant let her know we had an upcoming retreat in Cannes, France and she was welcome to apply to be a part of it.
Moral of the story ladies?
Stop giving your services and advice away. Stop letting people pick your brain!
People who TRULY value you INVEST in you.
Oh, don’t get me wrong, I believe in investing time in others without asking for anything in return. (I have some young women under my wing)
That is something completely different. In this case, I’m not talking about people who are worthy of your time, talents and attention.
Ladies, if you run a business. You have to make money to stay in business so you can help more people. Silence the inner critic…and those freebie seekers.
Now we’re at the last but most infamous…
Tacky Question & Comment No. 3:
I’ll let you in on a reply I gave one of my clients.
Here’s what you say, “I’m not picky, I just know what I want.”
Not much they can say after that. And they’ll probably be thinking about their low standards 🙂
Brene Brown said it best, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”
Can you think of some other annoying, nosy, boundary-breaking questions? Do you have some savvy, classy replies?
I’d love to hear them!
Write them below in the comments or on Facebook. Then share with your girlfriends.
With love and in service,
Rhonda “Set Self-Loving Boundaries” Cort
P.S. Ready to step into your high value woman stilettos? Visit my bio for access to a free audio: “4 Ways to Instantly Show High Value.”