By · @magneticwoman  ·  · 612 Shares

Boundaries, Limitations and Self-LoveEver wonder what to say when people ask nosy, over-the-top questions that super-stretch (and overstep) your boundaries?

If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s people asking questions that CLEARY overstep your boundaries, waste your time or suck your energy.

Everywhere I look, I witness this irritating behavior. My girlfriends, family members, clients and High Value Woman™ tribe members ALL share stories with me.

Heck, I’ve experience a few myself lately. (Don’t get me started!)

So I decided to share some practical, direct, slightly sassy (yet classy) replies you can use to gracefully respond.

Because if you don’t master the art of the graceful response to boundary-breaking questions, you’ll never feel fully in your power.

My parents raised me to be polite and agreeable. Yet, as a grown woman out in the world, it hasn’t always served me well.

Especially if you don’t have self-loving boundaries and have a deep ‘need to please.’

When you grow a pair of ovaries life becomes a lot less stressful. People respect your boundaries.

So let’s address a few of those pesky questions that have you thinking, “Really? You did NOT just ask me that.”

Tacky Question No. 1: 

Have you gained weight?

Honestly, I can’t believe some people think it’s okay to ask such questions!

I overheard one woman ask another woman this question. This one just needs nipping in the bud. Pronto.

I suggest you say something like, “You know it’s rude to ask that question. I’m only telling you so you don’t embarrass yourself again.”

Tacky Question No. 2:

Can I pick your brain?

We’ve all had friends or acquaintances who have asked to pick our brains (read: free advice).

One day I get an email from a woman who tells me she was coming to Southern California for a seminar.

She wrote, “I love your work and I’d love to meet you. Can I pick your brain? I’ll treat you to lunch if you could drive up to meet me in LA.”

I actually laughed out loud!

She knew I lived in Orange County. (The drive alone would’ve taken at least 4 hours of MY time!)

I had my assistant let her know we had an upcoming retreat in Cannes, France and she was welcome to apply to be a part of it.


Moral of the story ladies?

Stop giving your services and advice away. Stop letting people pick your brain!

People who TRULY value you INVEST in you.

Oh, don’t get me wrong, I believe in investing time in others without asking for anything in return. (I have some young women under my wing)

That is something completely different. In this case, I’m not talking about people who are worthy of your time, talents and attention.

Ladies, if you run a business. You have to make money to stay in business so you can help more people. Silence the inner critic…and those freebie seekers.

Now we’re at the last but most infamous…

Tacky Question & Comment No. 3:

When you are going to get married? You’re single because you’re too  picky.

Boundaries Issues and Shocked WomanIf you’re a woman in your thirties or forties who has never been married, I bet you’ve heard this one. Many times.

I’ll let you in on a reply I gave one of my clients.

Here’s what you say, “I’m not picky, I just know what I want.”

Not much they can say after that. And they’ll probably be thinking about their low standards 🙂

Brene Brown said it best, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”

Can you think of some other annoying, nosy, boundary-breaking questions? Do you have some savvy, classy replies?

I’d love to hear them!

Write them below in the comments or on Facebook. Then share with your girlfriends.

With love and in service,

Rhonda “Set Self-Loving Boundaries” Cort

P.S. Ready to step into your high value woman stilettos? Visit my bio for access to a free audio: “4 Ways to Instantly Show High Value.”

Rhonda Cort

At The High Value Woman™, Rhonda inspires the world’s most successful women to fully OWN & SHOW their highest value in love, work & life.

Create a life that attracts the right man, work & wealth. Get your gift “4 Ways to Show You’re a High Value Woman

What Do You Think?

15 Comments | Join the discussion

  • Sage Jun 10, 2015 at 6:57 pm

    I like to answer nosy questions with, “Why do you want to know?”
    This usually forces the person to admit, if only to themselves , that they are being nosy.

  • Nancy Jun 10, 2015 at 6:47 pm

    The other irritating “questions/comments” I’ve gotten (only from men) is when they learn I own my house instead of renting. They automatically assume I got it as part of/after a divorce settlement and ask about it.

    Then they have the audacity sometimes to re-question me if/when they learn it’s a nice house in a nice area of town. I respond by asking them to justify their surprise at learning single women are capable of purchasing a house without having been married. I also inform them that I know multiple single women that have purchased their own houses.

  • Nancy Jun 10, 2015 at 6:31 pm

    I’ve had the “children” questions multiple times but even more memorable was this question from a man upon learning I had yet to be married: “What’s the matter, don’t you like men?” My response: “You’re divorced, aren’t you?!”

    He was a complete stranger I had just met and this was his way of “hitting” on me!! He was so stunned by my response he could barely reply with a “yes” and just looked at me. Then he realized he had just lost any possibility of my being interested in him and he left a few minutes later. His friend was equally surprised by his obnoxious behavior; we continued talking for a while and ended up dating for a period of time.

  • Becky Jun 10, 2015 at 6:06 pm

    How about “Are you pregnant?” I don’t care if you can see the damn kids foot print coming from inside my belly…. you NEVER ask a woman this question. Because what if you are wrong. Have had days ruined and outfits thrown away because of people asking this.

  • Jackie Jun 10, 2015 at 4:32 pm

    I’ve been in a relationship for about 4 years, and the question I keep getting is “why aren’t you married?”. My standard response is “why don’t you ask him?”. I’m starting to think of changing it to something like “I’m just not that into him…”. What makes people think it’s any of their damn business??!

  • marley Jun 10, 2015 at 1:59 pm

    How much money did you get, from co-workers/friend..

  • Meg Jun 10, 2015 at 1:13 pm

    My smartass reply to why I’m still single, said with a big, WIDE grin: “Just lucky, I guess!”

    As to why I don’t have children, I simply don’t respond and just change the subject.

  • Laura Jun 10, 2015 at 12:25 pm

    Why did you get divorced??

  • Beth Jun 10, 2015 at 11:21 am

    How about when or why, don’t you have children.

  • Raegan Jun 10, 2015 at 11:11 am

    Why don’t you have children yet? Don’t you want kids?


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